"Friends Forever"

A few weeks ago I had the greatest privilege of visiting a very long time friend of mine. We have known each other for almost 30 years, this September it will be. I can hardly believe how long we have stayed in touch. I moved away from my home state 20 years ago and have visited with her 2 times since leaving, but the last time was 17 years ago. I had some frequent flyer miles from our last trip to China and Jay encouraged me to take a little trip all to myself and see her. We both figured it would be many months if not years that I could do that again after Elliana and Isaiah come home this June.

The whole trip cost me $5, which you really can't beat. The best part was I got to spend 2 1/2 days with my sweet friend and her precious family. I wish we didn't live so far apart, but talking on the phone every other month helps us stay connected. This little visit was just like old times. We even reminisced how silly we were in Junior High and High school. In Junior high we were very close and then had to separate at high school and go to different schools. We laughed at how much we cried that last day of school, so sad we would "never see each again"...Then we ended up working together at 3 different retail companies through high school and stayed close. She was my Maid of Honor at my wedding.

I titled this "Friends Forever", because when we were growing up it was the in thing to call your friends your "Best Friend" and then a few months later not talk to them anymore. So in order to avoid this she would not let me say that, so I would just say "Friends Forever". I even got a little music box engraved for her that said that and she gave me a bracelet.

Mary Nora, we are Friends Forever. Today I feel even more honored to call you my friend. Thanks for being there for me all these years.

Photos and Next Approval

A week ago we had some photos of Isaiah from his orphanage sent to our email. We were very excited to get these as the last ones we had were about  9 months or so, we believe and we knew he must have changed a lot. Which he has!! He looks so adorable and so big. We are so excited to meet him in 2 more months. These came in response to a care package we had sent him, which is so exciting that we have touched his life in this small, tangible way.

The other exciting news is that we got our I800 approval today. It will still be several days, maybe a week until it is logged into National Visa Center but it is approved and on its way. So very happy to be onto the NEXT step.

After the approval gets logged into NVC, then I will email them, asking them for a pdf letter that states they have cabled the approval to the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China. This is the place where we have our very last appointment in China to finalize that our new children can become US citizens. Once I have that pdf I can forward it to my agency, who will then forward it to our China representative, who will have a courier hand carry our previous sent documents to the US Consulate in Guangzhou. This wait takes 2 weeks exactly, baring any holidays. 

When the courier returns to pick up the approval they will send it to Beijing where the CCCWA is located. Then we wait for our very last step of Travel Approval letter from China. This wait is anywhere from 1-4 weeks, with the average being 2 weeks.

All in all, it is still looking as end of May travel is very doable.. Praising God for his working ways in all of this.

Still needing funds, but we have faith that will come as well!!

Look at our Isaiah's sweet face..

How To Say "Goodbye"?

One of the harder moments of my life is about to come in less than a week. I knew it was always a possibility when you have adult children in your life. It was something I wasn't really emotionally prepared for at first. However, God is using it to grow me in new ways and has given me a wonderful peace about it, even in the midst of my grieving moments.

My oldest son and his sweet wife (who feels like a daughter to me) are moving away to another state to be near her family. We understand the reasons behind the move and excited to see the new adventures that lays ahead for them. Even so, it is still a hard thing to walk through as a Mother. We feel so blessed to have the year we did with them living so close. We feel honored the way we have been able to watch them in their first year of marriage. They married young, but they knew they were meant to be together and they are very much in love. It is very precious to watch them become one.

We also know that they are not ours to hold onto. They are the Lord's children. It is His covenant with them, in their marriage. I remember their wedding day and the tiny bit of misty rain that was falling upon the ceremony, as it was outside. It was May, but in our state that is an unpredictable month. At first when we woke up to rain drops, for a 10:00 AM wedding, I was quite concerned.

Ironically, it turned out to be an amazing day. While we were quite cold, the tiny bits of rain that were coming down was like the Lord's blessing upon the marriage. It is difficult to explain unless you were there. But it was real. I could feel God's presence and I could feel Him saying to my heart, "This is my covenant with them. You have done your roll and you can have faith that I bless this marriage and will make them one." It was so beautiful and so right. I was not the only person that felt that on that day.

I am grieving in my heart that I will not get to see them very much. I trust the Lord and His sovereignty, however. I know He is using this time to stretch me too. I know it will be hard for them to say "Goodbye" to us as well.  So how do you say "Goodbye" to your oldest son? How do you say "Goodbye" to the dreams you had with them living close by? How do you say "Goodbye" when you have never lived 1000s of miles apart?

The only answer I can come up with is heavenly "Goodbyes" are not forever. That I can stand in the fact that I did have 21 precious years with my first born son. I have total confidence that God is with them on this new part of their lives and He has a plan and purpose for them each and together! I know that they are just a phone call away. I can be thankful that we have awesome technology that helps us to communicate as often as needed or desired. I know that our future visits will be even sweeter as the heart will grown founder since  they will be few and far between. I also know that the memories we have created will always be with us. Whenever I think of Tyler and Emily I will thank God for them and the sweetness they bring to my life.

Philippians 1.3
Every time I think of you, I thank my God.

I look forward to seeing what God is going to do in their lives.
Love you both so much!! Missing you already. Love you mostest.

A New Way To School

Homeschooling, is one of the greatest passions of my life. I truly believe God has given each parent the ability to educate their children, along with training, loving, nurturing and discipleship which comes along with being a parent to the gift/s God has given you. I have homeschooled our children for 16 1/2 years, if you begin at Tyler's technical year as a Kindergartner.

Homeschooling, I have considered to be my job, my career, for the betterment of my children and our family as a whole. I didn't always embrace it. In fact, when I first heard about homeschooling Tyler was only 6 months old and I thought the lady who spoke about it was strange and a little crazy to do it. I sort of snickered at the idea and even told Jay about, thinking it was weird. Should have learned my big lesson in life then, to never say or even think, "I would never do that!"

The 2nd time I heard about it Tyler was 2, when a family member began homeschooling her daughter. I respected this person and her family, so therefore I began to desire to learn more about it. It was also a time in my life when I began to realize I was not going to have a "career" outside of the home for many years, as I was pregnant with baby # 2 (my soon to be Makenna). While I did work part-time for extra money, around Jay's shift work, I wanted mainly to be there for my children in their primary years of growing up. I had also at that time, fully surrendered my life to the Lord, which began my understanding of what a Godly mother and wife was meant to look like in my life. So through the guidance of the family member, the Lord's opening my heart up to the idea, Jay's enthusiasm about the idea and some good books on homeschooling (I got every one that the library had at the time) I filled up my thoughts with what it might look like to homeschool. God planted a seed that grew quickly, into great excitement and anticipation for the time when we could do "real school" with our children.

Originally, I had the idea that we would only homeschool the first year or two. This would give Tyler a good foundation, more time in character development, and more time in the protection of our home. That was around the time when school shootings were beginning to be a reality, along with drugs and of course the "old-fashioned" bullying that seems to flourish in school environments. We figured we would then send him to a private Christian school, "since they had been trained in teaching and would do a better job".

However, as I began to learn more about homeschooling, I began to see that even though I hadn't been "trained" to be a "teacher" by the universities, I was very educated in my own child and his needs for education. I also realized that I was a quick learner and could teach myself how to help my child to read, write, and really almost anything and could find lots of help if needed. As my faith in the Lord grew by leaps and bounds at that time, Jay and I knew it was our biblical responsibility to make God and His Word the primary foundation for our children's education. We also knew that would not be possible in the public schools and might be skewed to our beliefs even in private schools. We also wanted to keep a strong connection with our children's hearts. With Jay's constant changing shift work with the military, we felt that keeping them home near us as much as possible would help us facilitate that.

Our official schooling started with Tyler when he was 4 years old. In fact, I was so excited to start teaching him to read that we spent a ridiculous amount on some "educational" materials that a salesman sold to us at our door. I think we spent over $300 on these ABC books and "curriculum", even going into debt for it, as we didn't have $300 cash to spend back then. (We still have the books but the curriculum was a joke and really not user friendly, so that went to Goodwill years ago.)

Thus, our journey of home educating continued and grew in size, knowledge, ability, and perseverance. The Lord challenged us in many ways, especially me as the main educator, to exhibit more of the Fruit of the Spirit. I hear many moms say to me, "I could never have the patience to homeschool my kids. You must be very organized and patient to do so." Well, I believe that we are supposed to let the Lord work on our character even as adults. I had to practice these things, learn these things and still am learning. What is more worthy then to begin having more patience, gentleness, kindness, self-control etc. by being with our children and being their main teachers! I don't think we can realistically give that excuse to the Lord as a reason to NOT homeschool. How unfair to say that to our children?

It has now been 17 years, 8 children, 2 graduates...I give ALL the glory to God above. I am so not capable of doing anything right even with all the "right" head knowledge, curriculum, perfect schedules, obedient times from the children, health, rested bodies, money, cleanliness, organization. Without Him the driving force in me, showing Grace to my family day in and day out, it is just my flesh doing those things. I am so thankful that in spite of my flesh, my ignorance and learning curve getting in the way, my children are so patient and forgiving toward me and my Lord is so merciful and gracious, as He keeps working in me. Then to top it all of, He turned out some pretty amazing kids from my home. Yes, He still could have done it even if we sent our children to public school. Yes, he could have done even if we lived in the poorest place of the world and they had no schooling. But I am forever grateful that He used our homeschool for His glory and I had the privilege of experiencing my growing Faith through homeschooling. He knows what is best.

The last year or so, things have been quite busy at our house. We started the road of adoption and wow what new joys and blessings have come our way from it. Our children have such a heart for orphans and the vulnerable. They have such a love and compassion for the millions of children without a Mommy and/or Daddy. I trust that God will grow them up to be even bigger and stronger advocates than I have been. I can't wait to see what He does through them. 

With Asher in our lives, we have weekly speech and occupational therapy. We also have a big focus on bonding and attachment, that we spend a lot of time on. Then there is his medical needs. He is doing so well and he is so well adjusted. I am so thankful for the way God answered those prayers. Soon (about 10-12 weeks from now) we will bringing, two more children who will have the same sort of needs as Asher. We are so excited for this grand adventure the Lord has brought us to, to be expanded and even a little "crazy". He has called us to it and we will do all things through Christ, who strengthens us! (Philipians 4:13)

Because of the extra demands on me as a Mommy, the last year our children have been doing much of their school on their own. I just don't have enough hours in my day to be there instructing them or guiding them. It has been "okay" as they have learned to be independent and still get "most" of their schooling done. But it has been boring, and they have been having gaps in their education. We haven't gone on field trips, done fun art projects or unit studies and we have barely heard Mommy read a story to the whole family, like we have always done. The only thing we had been diligent in was our Family Morning Bible time, which I love and it should be the priority. But the rest of school has been pretty luke warm. We have had seasons in our lives where this occurred before (with early pregnancies, births, sicknesses, moves etc.) but they were short seasons by a matter of weeks or a couple of months most. This latest "season" has been for a year and will likely go on for another year or two with the addition of Elliana and Isaiah. With all that before us, I have been praying for the Lord to provide some sort of help for our schooling. We had seriously been considering hiring tutors for our kids for the next coming year. I am coming to a place that while I am definitely capable of continuing to homeschool through this season, I know it could be done better if I were to have some help. I am only one person and there are many little people in my life (and big people) who need my full attention.

Interestingly enough though, our church is starting a pilot program of a "tutoring school" you could call it. So we attended the meeting and the description was just what we were looking for, besides not being in our own home. So after much prayer, we decided to put the children in this Preparatory Academy. It is only 4 hours a day, using homeschool curriculum, with small ratio of students and teachers (in fact only about 20 students), parents and teachers in close communication, parents having much say in what children are expected to do, high discipleship focus, Gospel focus throughout the whole day, peer dependency discouraged and managed, and more! It really did seem an answer to our prayers, even though it wasn't what we "thought" it would look  like. It just might be even better.

The kids began attending about 6 weeks ago. There have been adjustments, like my house not being as clean as I like it to be each morning, as we have to be in the car by 8:00 most days. And the cost of gasoline as we drive 2 times a day 20 minutes each way. And the younger two kids not having bigger siblings around all day, but their relationship has really grown in a positive way. And some of the kids coming home really tired. And wearing school uniforms and making school lunches. And scheduling appointments around school hours now. And not being able to sleep in. And feeling like I am always on the go And Mommy, having the opportunity to do some extra special time and schooling with Lenea and Asher It has been busy but it has gotten easier through the last few weeks and the children are really flourishing. The curriculum isn't too exciting, but it gets the job done. The teachers are amazing though and besides the book curriculum they make things fun with character teaching, bible study, prayer time, singing songs, learning about Christian Saints from History and having organized game time every day! Even more importantly, they love our children so much, praying for them, discipling them, correcting them in love, pouring their lives and hearts into them, and genuinely wanting them each to succeed, but mostly to grow in a deep relationship with Jesus. And they have. They are being challenged in ways that are also challenging me. They will be attending 3 semesters this year. Their first break will be the middle of May to the middle of June. This has been a big reason why we so are praying for our travel time to China to be at that time. They will have a 12 week semester this summer then a fall break and then another fall semester and so on. 

I do pray that some day I will have the opportunity to homeschool my kids again. Maybe I will just have to work it into our afternoons when they are home from "school". Because they get off at 1, we do still have several hours. For now, though I am learning to still catch up and put little ones down for nap at that time. When Makenna is graduated this May, she will be such a big help in driving and picking up the children from school though, which will give me more hours in my day at home. She can also help with meals and cleaning. She is looking forward to her time of becoming my "Nanny" this summer and learning how to manage the shopping and cooking. So, we will be on another learning curve through that season of change. I am excited to see that flourish with our new babies home.

I thank God for this opportunity. It truly is one of the only types of schools that we were comfortable with sending our children to. It is like homeschooling away from home, with other women tutoring them. I am not sure how long we will do this. I am not sure if some of my children will do it until graduation and some come home again full-time. But I trust God, who knows what is best for our family. I did have a little grieving in my heart when I surrendered this to God. This has been my identity for so long, "Homeschooling Mom".. now I am not so sure what that looks like. But I am not here to please man, but to bring my children up in the way THEY should go, in the Lord. I want them to know Christ first. This opportunity is what they need today, for where our family is at. I still have a lot of time with them in the day and evening to be connected and I am more able to get done the appointments, therapies, preschool teaching and toddler training that I am so deep in the middle of, called by God. It is not a failure to have help for the rearing of our children. It is me learning that I don't have to do it all, to be called a Homeschooling Mom!

Lenea and Asher watching me drive the kids to school on their first week. Makenna was off that day so she stayed to help with the littles for me.

 Navy and red day. Moriah (10 year old), Eliza (15 years old), Tobias (8 years old) and Jacob (12 years old)

 Jacob at his desk

 Toby at his desk.

With two of their teachers, Rachel and Ruthann, sweet, dedicated ladies. Their campus happens to also be located on a little piece of heaven.

Some News We Have Been Praying For

I heard from an internet friend that she got her Letter Of Acceptance from China today and she was logged in after me. I was happy for her, but still anxiously awaiting ours. I figured if we got it our agency would call about 2:30 PM. When the phone rang at 12:30 and Eliza said "It's Lifeline"... my heart jumped. Could it really be for us? I had seen that a lot of families were getting the approvals the last 2 weeks.

I answered and heard Logan's voice. I asked if she had good news and she said,"Yes, I have both your LOAs in my hand right now!" "Praise the Lord!" I replied..

Yippee.. This was the last week we could safely receive them and still likely make that window to travel the end of May. It might be the last day of May we travel but it will still be when we have been praying for. Of course, there is still several steps to be completed in a timely manner for us to go on that week, but I trust the Lord will see us through that as well.

Our daughter turns 3 on June 5th, and we so much want to have her in our arms by that day. 
Thank you for all your prayers. 

Our next step is for us to get the LOAs in our hand, via FedEx tomorrow and sign them and send back to our agency. Then they will overnight them back to USCIS (immigration) and that approval is for these 2 specific children to be ours! That process is taking about 3 weeks right now. Then there are a couple of Visa and US Consulate Steps. Then we wait for our very last step, which is Travel Approval from China. About 1-3 weeks after TA we head on a plane to China. So, so very blessed the way the Lord answered our prayers.

Last, BUT Not Least...

 The last of our "Birthday Season" was February 25th!! It took me a while to get to this post for various reasons, one being we have had influenza at our house for the last 2 weeks and still making it's way through the family. To wrap up this season, until mine comes in April I am privileged to wish a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to...............................................................................................................

Tobias John... our sweet, sensitive, loving, passionate, funny, smart, crazy active and energetic boy turned who 8!! Where has the time gone? He was and still is our biggest boy. He was born at 10 lbs and 8 oz, not fat just a big boy. Today, he is very thin, but as tall as a 10 year old and out growing his clothes quickly.

Tobias loves anything Lego, military, computer games (which we limit a lot), active games, bike riding and swings.

Tobias is the child that while he might struggle with telling the truth himself at times, he deeply wants to know truth and be truth. He desperately wants those around him to display truth and justice. He also has a passion for life and is at times impulsive. He is similar to Peter's character in the Bible, who one moment is declaring the Lord is God,  and the next moment reacting in passion and justice in his own way, thinking that is what would be best. He didn't take the time to ponder what the Lord would want, when he swung his sword at the soldier cutting of his ear.. Tobias is our boy who just goes, who just does, who just impetuously does what he sees fit at the moment. He is learning and growing in wisdom. He is beginning to gain some self-control, albeit slower than this Mama would like most of the time. But I do see fruit. I do see the Holy Spirit moving in his heart and changing his ways.

He is very thoughtful at other times, laying in bed and pondering the gravity of his sin and asking me again to talk him through the gospel and teach him how to be saved. I just love this boy and I am so honored that God has asked me to be his Mother. I love that he keeps me thinking, he keeps me praying, he keeps me looking to God for answers on how to be a better mother. I love that he keeps me young, while at the same time ages me a little more when he jumps off something high that will likely hurt him, just because that is what he does and he doesn't realize it is dangerous.

I look forward to seeing what God has planned for this son of mine. I look forward to watching him grow up into a man, that will learn to control his flesh and learn to surrender himself to God, while at the same time be that warrior fighting for justice in our wicked world.

I love you so much Toby John.