Adoption....

Finally, two years later, I have a video for our precious Elliana and Isaiah...Feeling so blessed and honored to be their Mommy.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Ellie

One year ago today we were in Guangzhou, China waiting for our day to come to fly home. We had 2 more days to go. Elliana had been in my arms (literally, didn't leave them but clung to me) for 9 days already. She was very scared, malnourished, and angry. She also had her fun moments where we got little glimpses of smiles and laughs, especially when she was swung in the air. She slowly began to trust me, nesting in the Ergo, letting me hold her close and helping her to feel safe.

For three years, Ellie had little opportunity to succeed or be valued. She grew up in an orphanage with many crib mates and nannies (albeit loving nannies too) but never a Mama to love her unconditionally, tell her how beautiful she is and to meet all her needs. She could not speak therefore was frustrated with no one to hear her attempts at language and listen to her cries. She had no voice. She couldn't feed herself easily but was left with a bottle alone in a crib to receive most of her nourishment. She was hungry. She couldn't keep up with the other children due to her disabilities which made her frustrated and try even more, with minimal reward.

This is probably the youngest photo we have of her besides her newborn photo and she was 8 months old here.

Because of a strength given by God Elliana is a fighter. She is a survivor.
Today, she is learning to be gentle. A year ago I had bought her this adorable little Asian dolly which I had planned to give her at home for her birthday celebration with the family. However, I decided to hold off as right away it was obvious she didn't know what to do with a doll and was afraid of it. She did not know what to do with most toys. She did make a game with our suitcases though, she loved clothes from the start. A true girly girl.

Today, she is learning pretend play. So I gave her that same dolly for her birthday today and now she can hold it, cover it with a blanket, give it a spoon for food and ask for help in changing her clothes. Another thing she likes to pretend is playing "kitchen". She will even "make" meals and deliver it to you while she does her bunny hop on her knees to get around and pushing the food to her friend. It is such a joy to watch her flourish.

Today, she is learning to use her walker and peddle a trike. Yes, she can peddle a bike for short distances. She can't crawl yet but she can peddle a trike. She LOVES to play outside and do anything her brothers and sisters do. It actually can be quite a challenge to keep her safe and happy. She will do anything whether she gets hurt or not and will have tantrums that last an hour if she can't do something that everyone else does. Oh...the joys of parenting a child with special needs. I love this little girl.

Today, we celebrate her life, her joy for newness, her fight to live, and tenacity to overcome all odds. When I got her a year ago (May 27, 2013) it was obvious that there was a severe neurological issue going on that we were not aware, I did feel anxious at times. However, I knew without a doubt that she was my daughter and that God had brought her to me to be her Mama. I also knew God did not mistakes. Even though I felt so inadequate for the job ahead of me, I knew He alone would equip me. I still believe this way today, even more so , seeing the huge transformation in Elliana in just one short year. Even with a Mama who is very busy but loving, a bit forgetful but with intentions, and so inadequate but willing! I am willing Lord, I always will be.

Elliana is 4 years old today. Here are some photos as we celebrated her life.
I am more than blessed by this precious girl.

Elliana loves opening presents and this was no exception. She also happens to love clothes!

This is to give a perspective of our one year's time. This was Elliana on her 3rd birthday last year in China!

We were signing "Happy Birthday" to Ellie and she was smiling so big! Almost as big as I have ever seen her and laughing. She was so excited we were celebrating her!

Here Daddy held her arms back as she isn't trustworthy with lit candles. But she did attempt several times to blow out the candles. There was some movement which I call success. Next year, she will get them.

And this is the best for last, we started a tradition a little while back of everyone clapping for the birthday person to stand on their chair and take a bow. Ellie is very aware of us doing this. Daddy helped her to stand and she did her "bow". It was adorable and we all were so blessed by her elegance.

 

 

 

God has amazing plans for this little girl, Elliana Kate Jun!!

Just Wanted to Share Some Amazing Smiles

Ellie and Isaiah are doing so well!! 

Some days Ellie has some melt downs, she is very insecure in her attachment to me some days and doesn't want me to leave her side. She also gets frustrated easily because communication is difficult. So add that to her disabilities and her age, and some hours are fitful. However, they are so much less than a few months ago. She is really thriving. She is strong and determined and so very smart. She is slowly sleeping better at night. I might get one or two nights a week now where she doesn't wake up at all.

Isaiah is talking more and more. He has lots of energy and using less oxygen.He has even begun to trot a little bit. He will be having his 3rd catheterization next month, February 12th. He is not sleeping so great. Interestingly, after his open heart surgery in October he has slept worse, not from heart issues but from what appears to be sleep apnea. He tosses and turns at night, snoring half the night through and obviously gasping for air because his airway is blocked. Some nights I don't sleep well listening and worrying about him. Then there are some nights he sleeps better. We have an ENT appointment and Sleep appointment in the schedule as well for him.

I just wanted to share these precious photos of the two of them, that my budding photographer (Moriah) took a week ago. I was so excited to see the joy and love in both of their eyes and smiles. They love each other so much, most of the time.

Partial Diagnosis and Some Things About Elliana

Last week Ellie and Isaiah had their sedated MRIs done. I don't know all the results yet, like Isaiah's cardiac issues and we are still having problems scheduling his surgery for which I hope to update soon just please pray for that to be scheduled soon on a day we can be satisfied about. But yesterday, I spoke with the neurologist about Ellie's brain MRI. I have suspected all along that Ellie had a brain issue going on that was causing her delays and more. I knew in my mother "heart" that it was more than just orphanage delays. It was confirmed that sometime in her very early life ( utero or during birth) she had a state of Hypoxic-Ischemic (Lack of Oygen) which did cause a brain injury, resulting in what seems to be Cerebral Palsy. 

The doctor still isn't sure what is causing her ataxic symptoms. It seems from the MRI, which would show a different part of the brain affected, is all normal. However, ataxia is undeniably there, so she will be having some more tests, metabolic  and maybe a genetic test. It could be something as simple as Ataxic CP, which is the rarest and most complicated form from what I read.

I feel glad that we have a diagnosis. I am hopeful that her brain looks as if the damage was done a long time ago and it is not progressing. I feel especially hopeful that Ellie is doing so well. She is a lot of work, but we see lots of progress and she is a joyful and adaptable little one. She is fitting well into our family and we are so blessed to have her a part of or lives. I am taking each new issue we have to deal with in stride. I give God all the glory. 

One of the issues that has been puzzling and stressful for all of us is that she has been a head banger (the back of her head on the wood high chair, wood floor, the tile wall around the fire place, etc.). She does it when she is mad to get attention. She doesn't seem to feel it. Sometimes she gets in a fit where she follows me around if I am busy and will drop herself to the ground and do this for me to pick her up. It is fine if I pick her up in a few minutes, but sometimes I still don't give her what she wants so then she starts hitting me or trying to head bang me.  It has to stop. I am so tempted to get her a helmet some days. My new plan is to stay on top of her when she does it and I have a port a crib in our dining room (I look as if I run a daycare as we have cribs all over the house these days.) Once she is in one of her fits I will tell her "no" and put her in the crib. I know she will not be happy about it, but I didn't want to put her in the room away from me so I am going to do it close by and just work on teaching her it is not okay to hit her head like that.

On a better note, her walker has been ordered. We did get her orthotics but she doesn't like them much as they are huge on her tiny feet, so it is very awkward for her to walk in them. She trips more right now unless being held just so. She is only using them a few times a day for 30 minutes at a time to build up her ability and tolerance for them.

Ellie is still so smart and cognitively right on target or ahead even, it seems. She must do everything the big kids do and she is very aware if you try to do something for her that maybe a baby would need help with, like hold her spoon when she wants to do it or hold her so she doesn't fall off the piano bench. She pushes you a way and insists, in Ellie fashion, that she can do it herself. So we are learning to accommodate for her physical needs and safety but not take away her dignity. Sometimes as a busy mom I find it hard to balance that, I am learning a lot.

We have amazing therapists working with her. Our Speech, Occupational and Physical therapists all seem to have a gentle, yet encouraging and understanding way with her. They are also each experts in their areas and related to kids with CP. I feel very blessed to have them. 

Some days I feel like all I do is drive the kids to therapy and do grocery shopping. My older kids help me so much and I don't know what I would do without them. I know some of the appointments will slow down once we get a complete diagnosis figured out for Ellie and have Isaiah's surgery all done. 
I counted how many appointments I have taken just children to in the last 3 1/2 months (since coming home from China) and I got 82! That does not include my appointments or Jay taking the kids to a few of them when he was home in the later afternoon. Those are all appointments with therapists or doctors that I have gone to. Right now our average is 8 a week. We have one day for OT (for 3 kids), one day for in home ST (for 3 kids) and one day for PT (for 2 kids). The other days are filled with misc appointments, which right now include a neuro-development psychologist for Elliana. I think in the end it will be a bit of a waste of our time as the evaluation doesn't seem to fit her age level or an adopted child. But we only have 2 more visits so I am finishing it up. It will be good at least to have a starting point to go back to if we need to as she gets older.

I love this sweet little girl. I feel so thankful that God chose me to be her Mommy. I do feel inadequate some days and wonder why He did choose me. However, I am blessed and don't want to argue with God. I know, without a doubt, that she will overcome her disabilities to a great degree. It might not be like a "normal" person but she is perfect the way God designed her to be. Amazing that I get to walk along side her and call her my daughter.

My Sweet Babies

Three months ago we were in Hong Kong, getting some extra sleep from our very long day of travel (it was about 40 hours) and preparing to meet our two new children. I was excited and nervous at the same time. Not knowing what our lives would be like by adding two new children to the mix, ones with significant delays and medical issues and who were older than Asher was when we adopted him. But I was confident that the Lord had brought us to the journey and wanted us to be the new parents and family of these precious children.

Jay and I parted ways to save a week of travel time. It was so hard for both of us not to be at each child's "Gotcha Day". We believed that 5 days would not be detrimental to the attachment that God would be making between us and both of our new children.

The first few days were great, but hard too. Elliana would only let me hold her and do anything for her. And then Isaiah would only let Jay do the same for him. It did get better for Isaiah but we didn't push the issue for Ellie in China. 

She is still quite the Mama's girl, mostly when I have to leave the house for a couple hours. I typically take her with me places I go, shopping and such. But sometimes there are appointments or special times with other children and she does have a meltdown when I have to leave. But Jay is so great and patient with her and reminds me "You go, she will stop crying in 10 minutes and will get to see you return to her. All of that will help her believe you will always come back." It breaks my heart though, poor little thing when I leave. It is pitiful and hard not to shed a tear myself. 

Isaiah often believes when Ellie screams when I leave that he must too, but not always. He is becoming quite a Mama's boy too, which has been good. I was a little worried those first few days when he screamed when I held him and Daddy left. I kept trying to earn his trust and prove to him that I was safe, and fun (maybe not as fun as Daddy though), and would take care of him too. I think today he is believing that. I give the glory to God for answering our prayers.

Asher is doing well. He is getting so big, especially compared to the other two, 3 year olds in the house. He is head taller than Isaiah and 10 lbs heavier. ( And Isaiah is the same weight as Ellie now She has gained 5 lbs in 3 months, Isaiah maybe 1/2 lb and he is 4 inches taller than her. ) Asher's language has exploded. His vocabulary is amazing and his speech is moving right along. Asher is so full of joy and courage and vivacity. He is also very stubborn and likes things to be just "so" or he gets upset. We are working on reminding him that he is safe and it is okay for things to be different. Bringing Ellie and Isaiah into his world has rocked him quite a bit. However, I know it is for his betterment. It is not good for him to believe all the world revolves around him forever. It is good for him to learn to share, as he never had to do that before. It is good for him to learn to be gentle, again never doing that before. He is a sweet boy and thankfully we have good therapists that are teaching us ways to help him be all that God means for him to be. He needs consistency in his day, which we have a lot of the time. It is also good for him to have some days that challenge him so he can learn that not all things or days go the way we anticipate and he will still be safe. He loves to hug his little brother and sister. He is just such a big boy compared to them that we have to be right there guiding his body, so he doesn't accidentally push them over. The funny thing is that even though Ellie is pint size compared to Asher and can't move about or talk like he does it does not stop her from communicating to him she is not happy with him or even give him a swift hit. We are working on gentleness.

Elliana is one busy and strong little girl. She isn't walking on her own just yet, but we are working on getting a little walker for her to use. Right now we are borrowing one from the therapist, but it is a bit big for her. It was such a joy to see her use it for the first time. She lit up the room with her smile and excitement as she was learning to maneuver it around. She will also be getting some little orthotics to give her some stability in her ankles, which will help her use the walker better too. Her speech is slowly yet surely coming. She can only say a very few words and you would have to know her to understand what she was trying to communicate. But she is attempting. She is also still signing words. She has no issues letting us know what she wants. 

It is a blessing to see her world open up. I thank God every day for allowing us to adopt her and bring her out the darkness of the orphanage life. She might have had loving nannies take care of her, which we have no reason to doubt. However, the frustration she must have felt not being "heard", not being held often but sitting in a crib, not being able to get enough food, not having someone to call "Mama", all must have been hopeless.  God is a God of hope...I am blessed to share that hope with her and I am blessed to be a part of the hope she gives us all. She is a fighter, that is what helped her to survive. All odds were against her, but she kept on. Sometimes she is trying to tell me she wants to eat or wants her milk. Both of those words she signs well.. But while I am holding her, doing something else for another child, she will grab my face and make me look into her eyes and do her sign again. Sometimes I have to make her a wait a little longer, but I try to not make her wait long. Parenting adopted children is different than biological children. We have to earn their trust. We have to show them time and time again, often through food as that is huge on the bonding scale, that we are there for them and will meet their basic needs always! It is a process that we will always be adjusting and considering the root of the child's needs and how that will affect our relationship with them. But today when she signs her "milk" with her little grunt and forcing me to look into her sweet brown eyes I "hear" that she is begging me to take care of her, to love her like a mother should. 

Isaiah is our small, sweet, quiet but not as quiet as before, almost 3 year old. His birthday is in three days! He has opened up so much the last month. It has been a huge transformation. He was quiet, reserved, serious and whiny a lot of the time the first few weeks and even 2 months he was with us. Something has changed though. We are finally seeing that amazing personality that we could "see" in the photos we got while we were waiting to meet him. He is talking, talking and more talking. He  is bossy, telling his siblings "No" and copying things I say. For example, Ellie is standing up on the couch and I say "Sit down, Ellie" and he copies my exact words right after me. He is sleeping so much better. I think the oxygen is contributing to that too, but he doesn't wake up crying with us not able to pull him out of it for a while. He is often smiling or giggling with his siblings.

 His biggest issue is his heart. He has some days that are harder for him than others. And sickness is the biggest culprit. When he is sick it just wipes him out. He is not very active anyway, but when he doesn't feel good he just lies around and wants to be held. 

I do have an update on his heart. We sent in three different requests to top hospitals about a second opinion. We finally got all three recommendations the earlier part of last week. Two of the facilities concurred, for the most part, with our hospital here. However, the top surgeon at Stanford did not agree with their treatment plan here .He felt a different approach was needed, in fact, even stated in his letter the other would likely not work. His approach would be a lot more aggressive but likely very proactive for the future of his lungs and heart. So we very much considered his plan and were beginning to prepare our minds for travel to Palo Alto, CA, which is very close to where Jay and I grew up and lived up until our 3rd year of marriage. 

The entire time we were in contact with Isaiah's cardiologist keeping him in the loop. After we let him know we were considering this other approach he took the information to the team here.We quickly heard back from him that they still agree with doing the less evasive way first, would be best for Isaiah. If the other surgery failed we would be left with little options for helping his heart. He said that they did reevaluate if his valve needing replacing now or later and they felt now would be best, which is what all three other hospitals suggested and our team was not ready to do yet. So we are thankful that the listened to us and were patient with us as we considering other alternatives for Isaiah.

I had been feeling while we waiting for the doctor to let us know that maybe going to Stanford would not be best for now. At first, I was very much thinking that way but I kept asking God to reveal the right path and give Jay wisdom and us unity on the decision. It was then that God began reminding me He was in control and I needed to have more faith in His healing of Isaiah and not just the doctors. If we were to have Stanford perform the more aggressive option we weren't leaving as much room for God to show His hand in it all. If the less evasive surgery was to be done and still not be enough for Isaiah God will work his miracle and be shown sovereign. That same day that I was hearing God remind me of his power, we asked one the of the other hospitals to look again at Isaiah's record and look at the Stanford surgeon's recommendation for us, giving us another second opinion. (This would be Boston, the #1 heart hospital in the Nation) They still concluded that would not be what they would do. It was all coming together, the peace  that we were to say here and take our cardiologist's advice for Isaiah at this time. Jay and I were in unity on the decision, which we always wanted to have.

So in the coming weeks, still no date planned, he will be having a cardiac MRI and lung scan and  a heart catheterization for a balloon and stent procedure on that left pulmonary artery. The intent is to take off the pressure from the very enlarged and sick Right Ventricle. He will also have his valve replaced which was his original birth defect. They will closely follow him after that surgery with more caths, ballooning and stenting to help that artery become larger and work more efficiently in the coming months, years. We so appreciate your prayers for him. It is going to be a long road. He will also be looking at more valve replacements with open heart surgeries, as the valve doesn't grow with him. 

My prayer is that he will not have fears and that he will not lose his sweet spirit from all of this medical trauma that has taken and will take place in his little life. Isaiah too is a fighter. We know that the nannies that so loved him did not realize how sick he really was and we are ever so grateful that the Lord brought him home to us in the timing that He did. Isaiah would not have gotten help in China until it was maybe too late. Today, here in our family, we are able to closely monitor his health with our excellent doctors and above our Isaiah's Creator and Healer.

I will post when I have a date scheduled for his surgeries. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Wordless Wednesday....Mama Bonding Time

Medical Update

The last few weeks have been big in adjustment, but really going well. God has been gracious, patient and merciful to me as I learn to mother 2 new, sweet, needy children. It has really been physically and emotionally exhausting some days, but I KNOW with prayers of others God has given me an extra measure of strength. I am so thankful for that, and it keeps a joy in my heart. 

I knew parenting these 2 babies was going to be hard work. The first few days Jay went back to work, I thought, "I don't know if I am cut out for this task. This is hard!" However, the Lord reminded me that He called me to it and He picked me to be their mother through adoption. And my strength was renewed and I got back up to my task of just doing what I knew to do as a mother to many babies before. Yes, it was double and triple hard some days, (still is). I just can't explain the wisdom, patience and love He has given me through out most of my days, but just tell you that,  "It IS from the Lord! and I CAN do all things through CHRIST, who strengthens me!"

Well, onto Isaiah and Ellie's medical stuff. 

Last week we had 2 important appointments. Ellie saw the orthopedic surgeon and Isaiah saw the cardiologist. Ellie went in last Monday and then had xrays taken. We finally heard the findings last night. She has a deformed right fibula, hip dysplasia and mild scoliosis. Her right leg is significantly shorter (although I forgot to ask by how much).

We are still not sure what the future holds for all of these. For now it is "wait, watch and further investigate" strategy. Because the doctor thinks that none of these should keep her from walking and from the other issues of her delays and inability to use her body, we have an appointment scheduled at our Children's Hospital in 3 weeks in Neurology. Then we will look at the whole picture. My mother gut tells me something is not right. She is cognitively smart, but can't seem to make her body do what she wants it to, and it is not completely orphanage delay. She started physical therapy last week, will start occupational next week and will start speech in 2 more weeks as well. More therapy..therapy..therapy..We do believe God has her in His hands and we trust that He will heal her.

Isaiah saw the cardiologist last Tuesday. Poor little guy obviously traumatized from previous medical procedures in China. Who knows all that was done, but we know at least two open heart surgeries before the age of 2. We had many quiet and loud tears at that appointment, but he was a trooper and with a snack and in Daddy's arms we had him smiling at the end of the visit.

Unfortunately, his results on the echo cardiogram were not favorable. I had been concerned, as at night time he is often restless, heavy breathing, whiny and coughing. Not all night, but it is clear he is uncomfortable. His echo showed that his pulmonary valve, which was repaired because of his Tetrology of Fallot birth defect, is still not functioning properly. There is some back flow of blood. Then the exiting blood to the lungs is also not going through the proper pathway, the pulmonary artery of one of the sides. In fact, the doctor couldn't even see it on the echo. He suspects it is too small or blocked. It is my minimal understanding that the body will still make pathways to get blood to the lungs and that is why he is still alive and breathing. All of this is causing hypertension on the right side of his heart, which is supposed to be 1/5 of the blood pressure compared to when we take it on an arm or leg. His about equal right now which is obviously too high. His Saturation % during the day at both doctor visits he had was still in low 90s. So the cardiologist advised us to have him go through a heart catheterization before a month's time. 

The day after we left Isaiah came down with a minor cold. No fever, just a little mucus drainage and small cough. That immediately increased his restlessness and coughing at night. We had been told by the nannies that since his 2nd surgery he was doing well, "except when he gets sick, it was harder for him to get over it". So I had mildly been prepared for this. But I was suspecting asthma. 

However, a thought had come to me to check his O2 levels more regularly and just see what is going on. By the 4th day of this minor cold (which was still minor) he was just not very happy and extra tired. He even took a morning nap with Ellie which he had never done before. A friend of mine has a son with a heart condition that requires lots of monitoring and I thought she might be able to help. She has a Pulse/Ox monitor that she graciously loaned to us for a couple of days. I used it when they brought it over and his O2 was at 89. I put him down for nap, just a couple hours later and in about 10 minutes into sleep it had dropped to 83. I knew I needed to monitor him at night. I put it on his foot that night and watched as best I could while sleeping myself. What I saw was a dramatic decrease in O2. It begins somewhat okay (88-90 when first laying down awake) but then it dropped as low as 75 that I witnessed while sleeping. The average number was 80-82 through out the night. When he woke up it quickly went up to 90. The doctor wants him to be over 88. So this definitely explains why he is having trouble when sleeping. I emailed the doctor who said they want him in next week and not to wait for his cath longer that that. I was so not ready for this and I know Isaiah isn't either. I trust that the Lord knows as He knew this was coming so I am resting in that.

So please pray for next Thursday at 8 AM Mountain Standard Time when Isaiah has his procedure. Jay, Ellie, Eliza and I will all go down with him for the day and I "think" the plan is for Jay to bring Ellie and Eliza home and I will stay with him if they keep him overnight. It was a hard decision as I really wanted to be with him. He is really beginning to bond with me but it is obvious he doesn't trust easily. I also don't know want to leave Elliana. Jay and her are attaching well, but she is slightly more a Mama's girl which is good and I don't want to lose that. It is important that these babies attach with Mama just a bit more, like a newborn would. They didn't get 9 months in the womb with me, and 12 months nursing. So I have to work for it, for the trust, for their love. Jay does too, but research shows if they have a strong attachment with Mama the other relationships will be healthy and secure too. Again, I cried out to the Lord today, surrendering that to Him alone. He knows what it takes to heal my babies and to make a strong attachment with their Mama and Daddy. He will do it in His way, not mine and I give Him that too!

So all your prayers are appreciated about all of the above. Truly it has been those prayers that are evident through this entire adoption journey with Elliana and Isaiah. Thank you!!

Catch Up Post: Adoption, China, Adjustment, Life

Our VPN wasn't working most of the time in China, therefore it was impossible to blog while there. AND I was so busy with little people it probably wouldn't have been much anyway.

We came home on June 8th, after 30 hours of travel time. Can I just say I really, really dislike that long airplane ride? The babies hated it and we held them while they fussed, cried, tossed in their 30 minute catnaps and Isaiah even got air sick the last hour for the long flight. We went to 4 airports, 3 flights.

I will post a bunch of photos and write captions to give a glimpse of our 18 days traveling to China and home. It really was a wonderful adoption trip. We had a tiny spout of stomach sickness with my teens and Jay, which lasted about 24 hours. I had sinus issues I think from the pollution, since it has mostly cleared the last 48 hours. I had a very bad stomach ache the night before we left and I was worried to get on the plane. After praying a lot through the night it cleared up. The babies were not sick at all, slept great. Ellie is quite attached to Mama and Isaiah to Daddy. They both are accepting of the other parent more and more each day.

Ellie's personality is a go-getter, strong, determined, feisty and sweet all in one very tiny package. She weighed a little under 19 lbs at Gotcha Day and today at the doctor was 20 lbs exactly. she fits pretty well into size 12 months except for her waist needs more like a 6 month. She LOVES food and loves to move. She loves clothes and odd things to look and play with. She is all baby. She doesn't talk at all, sometimes baby babble. She grunts a lot, cries loudly, and is learning to sign. She can not walk on her own, but loves to be walked around holding tight onto your hands. She "crawls" with a bent leg in criss-cross position and pulls herself forward. She is very delayed, but very smart. We suspect intestinal parasites which she is getting tested for right now. She loves to snuggle in the Ergo and be walked around. She smiles all the time and can get a sweet little giggle when being tossed into the air. We are suspecting her delays are more than just institutional, maybe Cerebral Palsy. We are not concerned though and the doctor wants to get her into PT, OT and ST as soon as we can before we go the neurological route and see how she improves. He said treatment is the same either way. She is teething molars and I think it has been making it a little crabby the last few days. She loves to investigate her new home. In spite of the fact that she has not the full capability to control her hands and arms, she can give a good right hook when she is mad. She has been sleeping better the last few nights. The first 3 nights we were home she screamed half the the night. We have put back in her little crib with a weighted blanket and added some essential oils to see if that helps, along with Ibuprofen for teething. All of the above seem to help her sleep "most" of the night. She has been waking lately for a midnight bottle, which I am gladly giving her. She is always wanting to eat, I am just thinking for 3 years she was hungry and she has a lot of catching up to do. I think she is going to have no problems gaining weight. What a sweet blessing she is.

Isaiah's personality is a lot different than hers. He is quiet, whiny, withdrawn and serious, with a bit of silly grin he is hiding under it all. He will not speak to us or sign very much at all. We have made small steps in getting him to sign "more" or "please" when he wants something. And I have heard him say "Dadda" and "Mama" on occasion. He only weights 22 lbs, is long and very lean. He doesn't smile often, but when he does his whole face lights up. He loves his belly kissed and we can get a huge belly laugh from that experience. He barely eats at all, but will take about 4oz of milk from a bottle several times a day and he likes to drink water from a Camelbak. He loves Daddy, since Jay had him from Gotcha day and 5 days without me. He wanted nothing to do with me the first couple days I was with him. Our first step in getting him to let me feed him was Jay holding him while I held the bottle. It was a step and just a day or so later he let me hold him with the bottle alone. He barely walks and when he does it was with straight legs. We "think" he was held a lot in his orphanage and in the crib. His nannies all loved him. When Jay took him for an orphanage visit one nanny said a blessing over him. Isaiah cried with delight to see his best friend in her crib (very bad hydrocephalus) and then he cried tears of anguish to leave her. Jay said it was heart wrenching to make them part. Isaiah seems to be deeply grieving. But he is slowly, being healed and opening up his heart to us. He has a very large pigeon chest from his last heart surgery, which we weren't aware of. He seems to not be bothered by it, but he doesn't lie on it very heavily. It will be interesting to hear what the heart surgeon thinks of it and if they will do anything to repair it. I think they have to rebreak the sternum to fix it.  He is a champion sleeper which has saved me with Ellie not sleeping so good, always. He does fuss in his sleep quite a bit, snore and seem short of a breath with some coughing while he sleeps. The doctor does not believe is due to his heart, maybe asthma, reflux or a residual from recent illness he might have had. We will see the heart surgeon in 10 days. When he needs me by fussing at night (his crib is next to our bed) I just hold his hand and he likes that.

So life at home is going well. Amazingly, laundry and cleaning are pretty great, due to my awesome older and younger helpers. We won't look in my bedroom though okay? Jay went back to work one day last week. I did not feel overwhelmed, but I was tired. I sat on the ground with the littles a lot. I am going to need to get more adventurous with them sooner or later. But for the first few weeks we are just getting to know each other and let them experience their siblings and new home. It has been a huge blessing to have a few meals come for the first few weeks. I know prayers are being said daily for us, I feel them. The older children love their new siblings. I am finding a bit hard to find the balance between working on bonding with new kiddos and keeping relationships with other children. I so appreciate all the grace, mercy and understanding my other children have given me through this transition. I think the fog has lifted from jet-lag, but my emotions feel a bit all over the place sometimes. Not quite as bad as post-partum hormones but maybe about 25 percent of that.

Here are the photos:

May 27, 2013 Elliana Kate Jun "Gotcha Day" Her Nanny (not this lady in the photo) gave her to me and from the get go Ellie was screaming and scared. She cried the entire 90 minutes we spent waiting for paperwork to be finalized for all the families in this room. Once we left the building and went to Walmart and she willingly took food from me she calmed down. We had a hard, whiny and crying day with her. By the following day she was better and each day after became more and more attached to me.

May 27, 2013 Isaiah Calvert Tao (Tao Tao) Gotcha Day. He was whimpering and scared. But quickly warmed up to Daddy.

May 28, 2013 Isaiah is officially our son."Adoption Day"!

May 28, 2013 Ellie is officially our daughter "Adoption Day" for her as well. She is starting to really love the Ergo as well.

Sweet, serious and somber little Isaiah. But in the photo by the baby (that is his friend) he was very gentle and loving toward her. We can see beautiful glimpses of a  little lover child. These photos were his visit to the orphanage.

Just a little comparison of Ellie from the first week to the second week we had her. The first photo we had her for just one day. She was curious but not wanting to smile much. The photos in the stroller were the second week. You can see a little brighter bounce in her eyes and of the course her smile is precious.

Our first day back together, after a short night's sleep. This was us waiting at the Medical Check up for the littles. So happy to be reunited.

These photos were at the Chen Ancestral Hall in Guangzhou (including the one of Jacob posing with the statues) and the Pearl Market. I bought some pearls for Ellie, Isaiah's future wife and Makenna for a graduation gift and some earings for myself and Eliza. They had bags and bags of colored pearls. You pick what strand you want and they make it into a necklace for you. This is where they tie each pearl individually. I think it took them about 5 minutes for each necklace. They were fast. I paid 60 American dollars for each necklace. They are simple and elegant.

A man, painting the names of the children inside a pretty handpainted blown glass jar I picked out for them. I think shopping was one of the highlights of the trip for me. I brought home many gifts for the children to give them on birthdays for the coming 2 decades I think.

Shopping on Shaiman Island.

Asher posing with a statue on Shaiman Island. Cute boy!

Lunch at Lucy's on Shaiman Island. I had just walked through a huge thunder storm to meet them for lunch after shopping at an amazing store owned by the agency that helps kids needing adoption. A Gift of Love is the name of the store.

(not the greatest photo of us) but I wanted you to see our first attempts at having Isaiah let me feed him. This was our 3 day together and he still would not snuggle me or take a bottle or food from me. So Daddy held him, while I held the bottle and it worked. Accept that Ellie was jealous and Asher wanted to be a part of the action too. Oh well..progress was made.

More times with me feeding my two "little birdies" noodles. They kids love noodles and they sat on each side of me and opened mouths wide while I put them in. They were very excited and happy with this game. And the bonding was moving along...

One of the daily highlights for Asher was the Koi Fish pond at our hotel by the breakfast room. He took bread every day and fed the fish. Isaiah liked it too.

One of the fun things we got to do with the other families from our agency was the Pearl River Dinner Cruise. These photos were from that evening. The one building that I got a good picture of was my favorite. It changed colors that spiraled up to the top of the building, including "rainbow".

June 5, 2013 our Ellie turned 3. We shared that evening with another family I will post next and their Reece who turned 3 as well that day and was from Ellie's province. She LOVED the cheesecake.

Wes, Heather and Reece from Alabama.

Adam, Jessica and Samuel. This little boy is the one we prayed about at the same time whether to adopt as we looked at Isaiah's file. We obviously God led us to choose Isaiah, but this little guy was precious too and we were double blessed to be there the same time he was getting adopted and meet his sweet family.

Robin, Andrew and Levi. Levi was a precious boy which Asher became fast friends with.

 We are so glad we brought Jacob and Eliza, they were instrumental and we couldn't have managed without them. I think they had a lot of fun too.

New parents....we are so blessed...