Sensory Processing.. What Is It and Some Things We Do Things in Our Family To Help It

It is said by Dr. Kayrn Purvis (a must look into for adoptive families) that most, if not all adoptive children have Sensory Processing problems. What this means is that they did not have an opportunity to develop all their senses in way which their bodies can use them properly or with regulation. Just a small sampling of how babies sensory system is developed healthy is by a rich environment of holding, eye contact, feeding, rocking, singing, bathing, etc. Adoptive children are not the only people that have sensory disregulation. Adoptees just happen to always have a traumatic beginning (adoption starts with trauma for every child, even in the best of the best adoptive situations. Just losing bio-Mommy is traumatic for a baby.) Often sometimes it is even worse with: abandonment, neglect, abuse, starvation, medical issues causing emotional and physical pain, lack of touch and stimulation, which makes it inevitable for these precious children to have sensory disorder. When you add a "hard beginning" or imbalanced brain chemistry (even biological children in the best situations can have) than the sensory system is jeopardized.

I believe every parent, especially adoptive parents, should give their children some special measures of grace and mercy, knowing that their bodies just don't work the way ours do and haven't matured yet to be able to be regulated. Then we should help them regulate and eventually learn to regulate themselves, so they can get along well with others as they grow up. I happen to be a Mama to 3 adoptive children with sensory disregulation, along with several of my birth children having issues with certain sensory categories, some of them all of the senses. So for the last 4 years I have begun really studying this interesting diagnosis, trying to understand it, and seeking help for my children. 

The first book I read that explains it all so well is the The Out of Sync Child. The first website that I found with a huge amount of helpful information, including an awesome checklist that I used to take into our pediatrician for support, is Sensory Processing Disorder. I recommend if after reading my post you want more information to start with those two resources. Even if your child doesn't have a diagnosis of SPD there is valuable information for all parents.

So what are our senses and how do they affect every day life in the way we live, interacting with others and our environments? Any, several, or all of our senses can be disregulated, causing disorder to our nervous system. They can either be "under responsive", "over responsive", or a combination, which is often a pendulum swinging from one extreme to another, and what I find is the most difficult to deal with as you never know what to expect. It becomes especially challenging as well when you have multiple senses that are disregulated.

Under-responsive means that the the sense is not getting enough feedback. So for a child with under-responsiveness to Touch they will be the one who touches everything they come across, seeks messy play like mud, crash and bumps into things attempting to give their bodies more touch and meet that lack of feeling of it, this child will often not feel pain either. Sometimes I have heard of these children getting burned easily, as they just don't feel the injury that occurs instantly like most of us do. The child with the over-responsive nervous system to Touch will be the one who can't stand being kissed, is easily tickled, doesn't like to walk on grass, might walk on tip toes, doesn't like tags on clothing, has a hard time with hair and fingernails being cut etc. And for a child with a combination of these two it might be one hour they don't feel their clothes are all twisted up and maybe even falling off them, but then later that day they are frustrated as their shoes are "too tight" and they must take them off at church. 

Under-responsive to Sound would be a child who likes loud music, might speak loudly, doesn't seem to 'hear' others, and makes vocal noises often. The opposite to that for over-responsive to Sound would be a child that hears sounds in other rooms (like flourscent light bulbs or a barely audible buzzing), covers ears a lot, asking others to 'be quiet', fearful of sounds like a fire truck driving by or grossed out by a siblings chewing sounds (just attempted to deal with this issue tonight). That is where there can also be challenges if  you have two children who are opposites in that sense; one who doesn't hear their chewing loudly and one who hears the slightest crunch from another, ready to gag from it. It can be very frustrating as a parent some times. However, no excuse will be made for anger, dealing with it ungraciously or ignoring it. I have been guilty of doing all those things before and still do sometimes, unfortunately. I am thankful to have a loving God who continues to teach me how to be a better, more patient Mommy and children who forgive me so sweetly.

We all are familiar with the 5 Senses: Touch, Sound, Oral, Smell and Sight. All of those senses can be out of order or regulation at times, for each of us. We all deal with some issue, or have in our lives. For instance, I still can't handle the sound of certain touches on a black board (finger nails for one) it just "kills" my ears and sends vibes up my spine that are literally painful. I also prefer a really dark room to go to sleep or I don't sleep well. Pitch dark would be 'heaven' to me, but I have learned to adjust with what darkness I can get, because I share a room with little ones and have the lights from the alarm clock and computer. I also can not eat certain foods like mushrooms as it just gags me to where I could vomit, but I do enjoy the flavor of mushroom soup without the actual chunks of mushroom in it. So it is definitely an Oral issue for me. I am sure most of us can think of at least some things that we struggle with or did as a child but with maturity and growth we have overcome or adapted to it. I know for me while I still can not handle the chalk board thing, I have overcome the cracking of knuckles that used to do the same thing to me as child and teen. It would send me over the edge if others did that around me. Today, not so much. However, that is just the issue, people with Sensory Processing Disorder have so many things disorganized/disregulated/under or over responsive that they can NOT adapt well and they have a lot of pain and discomfort every single day as it is all just so much to deal with. All of that makes it difficult to function in many situations.

Besides the well known five, there are also 3 other senses that most of us are not familiar with that I want to share. These too are what the SPD child are needing help with and very important to all of our nervous systems and bodies: Proprioceptive, Vestibular and Interoceptive.

Proprioceptive is the sensory input and feedback that tells us about movement and body position. The location for this sense is in our muscles, joints, ligaments, tendons, and connective tissues. A person with this sense in dysfunction is often "clumsy", they might push too hard, fall off of things "purposely" as they don't feel it, play too rough, like tight clothing, have a hard time climbing or riding a bike, have poor posture, bite their nails or chew on things, balance is off (can't stand on one foot) and be the "loud" kids.

Vestibular  is the sense of movement which comes from the inner ear: equilibrium, gravitational changes, movement experiences and position in space are all affected by it. This person loses balance easily or can spin for an hour without getting dizzy, avoids playground equipment or things with height or craves jumping off of high places and swinging high. This person may not even like their feet to leave the ground without stress if they are over-responsive, seeming like they are in a lot of constant fear and anxiety. But the under-responsive child is more the "thrill-seeker", always moving and causing fear and anxiety in their parents.

Interoceptive is the internal self-regulation. So this person may get hot easily or cold easily, or seem to be hot or cold at the "wrong" times. They are not able to regulate thirst or hunger well, either never thirsty or hungry or all the time, or back and forth to extremes. Heart rates can be extreme, same with perspiration.

The wonderful news is that the sooner you can get a doctor to listen to your concerns for your child and prescribe the helpful therapies for them, the sooner you as a parent can learn to help your child, learn to help themselves. We have been doing our different types of therapies for almost 4 years now. We sometimes take a few months off as needed. It is always a fun and exciting time for my children. They all really LOVE it. It is hard work though, their bodies are being challenged in ways they aren't comfortable with and when we do some of the activities at home we do get resistance. I usually do not take "no" for an answer though. When it is time for us to enrich our sensory system, it is often done with multiple children at the same time and we try to just have fun, playing games.

One book I can't recommend enough is by the same author for The Out of Sync Child, is called The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. There are other books out there I have borrowed from the library that are good with a wealth of ideas to incorporate into your play time with your kids.

So with all our different types of therapies we have used in the parenting of our amazing children (Occupational, Physical, Speech, Neuro-feedback, Listening Therapy, Vision Therapy etc...), I am going to share some photos of just a few of the ones we have been doing the last couple of weeks. No family can do it all, at the same time. Pick and choose a few things to work on. Then try something new another week, month or year. It has been especially challenging with darkness coming at about 4:45 in the afternoon for our children along with the much colder temperatures this time of year. They seem to have more bickering, whining and just plain grumpiness about them when inside. We do allow some extra movie time, but that isn't so good, especially for the sensory system either, so we just do more indoor active things like mini trampoline and some of the things I will show below. 

By the way, our Occupational Therapist believes the mini trampoline is a great way to help children transition things in life: before school, after school, before dinner, before bed. It is a great deep pressure activity that helps the proprioceptive part of us regulate. It helps with left/right brain body awareness, vision and vestibular; not to mention muscle tone, endurance, lymph system and over all health. Even if the child can only do 1-2 minutes (we set the timer, or practice ABCs or math facts), it is helpful and useful, but it needs to be a part of every day life. Another tip, is that the large outdoor trampolines do NOT give the same affect and feedback as the mini trampolines. They are good for some of the same things: balance, muscle tone, endurance, hand eye coordination and more. However, I have found that for a lot of my children they can jump and jump and JUMP on the large trampoline and still be hyper when they come inside. It does not seem to give them the deep pressure that they need in their joints for the proprioceptive that is lacking in their day. 

One last thing, before you look at some fun things our family does through our days lately, please keep in my mind, we have days where I am just worn out or the kids resist too much, leaving us with not much done for "therapeutic activities", because I am dealing with tantrums too much.  A therapist says and Dr. Purvis says that we should be doing some sensory activity about every 2 hours. If we do that and feed our kids healthy snacks every couple hours it will save us a lot of battles. Well, some days that just can't happen, okay a lot of days! Ha...But even little bits helps most of the time. With some kids though, it is challenging even on our best days. Some kids do well on some days and bad on lots of other days even when we do a "diet" rich in sensory activities. We do have consequences for continued bad behaviors and we do not tolerate it, always correction going on in our home with all of our kids. I have though a greater understanding of what my children "feel" when their bodies aren't telling them what is what, telling them that their feet are even on the ground, or if they truly physically feel pain when another person gently bumps into them. It is my hearts desire to always think "Is this truly being done on purpose or just a reaction to a body that isn't giving them the proper instructions or help just to function in simple tasks?" That has got to be a difficult thing to deal with every hour of the day. My kids are my heroes, because really they put up with so much!!

 

Here is Elliana riding her little car. You should see her on this thing. She is amazing and I do believe gets faster and faster and more agile on it each day she uses it. She still can't walk on her own yet, but when she uses this little car (which is beginning to break after only 3 months of usage already) she can do just about anything.

All three of the 3 year olds have "cars" They often share, but Ellie is quite possessive of hers. Here they are making a little train, Asher is the leader of this bunch, as he pushes them all around from the back.

These little "Pop Tubes" are pulled out and pushed in and make a funny, popping sound when you use them. They are fun for the helping kids to hear things easier, deal with sounds better that they typically might not like and help with muscle issues along with fine motor skills as well.

We sometimes have scooter "Races" around the island in the kitchen. Bigger kids using their strength to push littler ones around and around, good fun for everyone.

Lenea can do it herself here on this "saucer".

Asher is one of our sensitive to sound guys, so we are trying out the headphones to lessen the noise. However, we haven't figured out how to teach him to be quieter when he wears them. He can't hear us well or hear himself speaking so he yells more when he wears them. Not sure if he got hurt in this photo or mad he didn't get his way. This often happens in these games, just part of growing up.

This is a favorite. We have a swing set up in the basement that the older kids can easily access on their own. This is a "sock" swing that we just bought 4 yards of Lycra and had our OT tie some tight knots in it and attach it to a hook. The kids are helped into it and there is a lot of deep pressure and muscles being used in this thing, plus vestibular.

Here is Lenea swinging in it, which is another excellent way to use it.

This is another one of our swings. It is a rectangular board that can be used side ways or back and forth. It fits these three monkeys just right. I am sitting close to Ellie to insure she doesn't fall off.

We have a "Sensory Bag" that I pull out a few times a week. All the children sit around in a circle. The ball that Toby is using is actually quite hard and makes a lot of tactile feed back. We called it the "Spiky Ball" and each child gets to take turns saying what body park to put it on. The top of the head and inside of the hands are my two favorites. It hurts, sort of, but feels good at the same time.

Here is Ellie doing "Under the Chin, No Hands" This ball she is using is not as poky as the red one above. We don't own enough for everyone so we take turns. She LOVES copying us and does really well at it.

These are sound sticks that you rub together for music. This put on the joints and top of the head or the chin or cheeks, gives a vibrating sensation that feels neat and goes into the joints, just rub them together..(please ignore the laundry in the background..never ending here..the "Sensory Bag is the striped blue pillow case on the ground).

We have these rubber type Vehicles that are in different colors. I am having Asher pick them up with this grabber toy. It takes a lot of coordination to pick it up, hold it in the clasp and then drop it in the correct colored bowl. He got frustrated at first as he couldn't do it and his perfectionism almost put him in a melt down. After I showed him how to use both hands to do it, he was able to accomplish about 20 of them, then Toby finished up the game. This helps a lot with hand and wrist strength which is great for school tasks. Kids with Sensory issues often struggle with low muscle tone in that area, which makes school even more challenging.

Asher is listening to our "Listening Therapy" . We had one of our older OTs show us this. You must only purchase it through an OT helping you. The website gives a good explanation. Asher is listening for 20-30 minutes, again timer set, and doing activities that work on various things.

The Balance Board.. Even Daddy is enjoying the therapy we do sometimes.

This is Ellie at her physical therapy, and her very sweet therapist. Anyway, she gets her walker next week. This one is a tad too big for her, but oh how she lights up with delight when she is on this. She is really strong on it, but her endurance is very low. We can usually get about 5-8 minutes of her using her before she starts saying "All Done".. 

She is concentrating hard at this and you can see us in the mirror cheering her on. I stand on one end so she is motivated to walk to me. I just LOVE seeing her move this way.

Here are a few resources I wanted to share. Please let me know if you have some to share or any questions. I love talking about "Therapy". My friend and I joke about all the different types of therapy our kids "need" and we figure when we are all done parenting them, we just might need our own therapy.

Neat Blog With LOTS of Good Information and Ideas

99 Sensory Activities

Speech Therapy Activities

Eye Exercises

Great Post for ALL Adults to Read on Why Our Kids Can't Sit Still

Give Me A "D" "T" and "C" .......Dossier To CHINA

Today is a big day for adoptive families like ours. All of our months and hours of preparing applications, having doctor appointments, coming up with the first 1/3 of our adoption fees, waiting on others to do their paperwork, needing "approvals" and the many, many days of doing NOTHING BUT having to wait, come to an end when we finally are DTC (Dossier To China). 

Whew. it is a great feeling...Now all our documents have been authenticated by our US government and the Chinese Consulate that they are the "real" deal and then all sent to China's adoptive agency called CCCWA.

We are told it takes 3-4 weeks for China to get it all and LID, Log In Date (in other words enter our request to adopt and the documents in the queue for approval). Then we start our official count for our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) which is even a bigger day!!

Keep in mind China's queue has no rhyme or reason to how or when they approve you. We imagine that there must be some slower workers, faster workers, more organized ones, messy ones that lose documents and sometimes the files that were being worked on in order all fall to the ground and become a heap of a mess causing the order to be out order after all. Of course, this is just speculation.

It feels so surreal that we are at this point. It is almost 11 months exactly from this time last year when we were at this point for Elliana and Isaiah. What a relief. Now onto more waiting! Thank you for your prayers. I am also going to be requesting some more updated information on Adelia and hoping for more photos to share.

Happy "Gotcha" Day and My "High Calling"

Two years ago today, with much excitement and trepidation I walked off an elevator to a Chinese Civil Affairs office to meet our new little son. Asher has been a joy from the first day we met him. We had some hard moments, hours, and nights those first weeks. However, it seemed all my prayers were answered as he was meant to be a part of our family and he quickly attached and loved being a part of our lives. He has grown so much the last 2 years. He was a "baby" at almost 2 years old then and today he is a preschooler who is learning so much. He is strong, active, silly, smart, and most of the time "happy" (just like the meaning of his name, it really has been a perfect fit for him). 

I remember feeling so scared that day, thinking if he would come to love me as his Mommy. He had been in a relationship with many women in his life (his "China" Mom, nannies, foster Mom) and I wasn't sure if any of that was positive and loving for him, surely much of it was confusing and painful for him. I have not been a perfect Mommy by all means. Sometimes I am impatient, sometimes I don't understand his needs nor can meet them, and sometimes I am distracted with my own busyness. I desire to be all I can be for him and all of my children. God has given me so much to devote my life to. I am so thankful that in spite of myself, Asher has come to see me as "Mommy" and I pray all the time he never forgets. I tell him every day how much I love him and that I will always be his Mommy.

 Here is sweet Asher just the night before we left China in November 2011. Look at his cuteness..

 Here is most of our family in March 2013 when we "re-adopted" him, standing in front of the court house. 

 And here he picked a "flower" for Mommy this last summer. Still the same preciousness, but even a bigger joyful heart. I just love this boy.. I am so blessed. Praise Jesus!!

I had someone tell me the other day, who I see weekly, that she could see my adoptive children were "healing" and that she believed I was a big part of that. She called me "her hero"..wow, I felt very humbled, knowing full well, I am not a hero. I can't do this apart from God. I know yesterday when I got angry with one of my children instead of directing them patiently, I was not a "hero". I am so thankful that God chose me for this position though. I told her "Thank you, it is only Jesus. But I just pray one day that my children can think of me as their 'hero'". She agreed. I don't give my life for anyone else, but for Jesus and my children. That is what my calling is. 

Although, this last Sunday at church through my pastor's sermon God taught me something.

If I am to be a faithful 'man' (aka 'woman') for the Lord, I will be resolute, confident, decided, singular focus and all in for the Service the Lord has called me to, changing that out for my own strength, will-power, goodness, talent, etc. It is not by my ability rather by God's to do this work.

Proverbs 20:6-7 "Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man? The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him."

I do NOT want to be "Most Men (aka women)" proclaiming in my goodness. I want to walk faithful, in the righteousness of Jesus. In order, that my children will be blessed. If I can do that, oh what a legacy and gift I will give my children. 

The part that was a bit hard to swallow from this teaching was that I need to do my faithful work for the Lord with the following question to be answered with a "YES"....

"Am I willing to take the lowest place in my calling and not be remembered? In my motherhood?" 

Jesus is who should be remembered, not me. I want to show Jesus, the only part of me to my children and husband. If I am not remembered but He is, wow..to God be the Glory. Proverbs 20:7 "His (My) children are blessed". I must be okay that when I am finished raising my children. And that even if they do not remember me and all "I" did for them, or even if I never see them again for whatever paths the Lord takes them on it is for His glory, not mine and that it His plan and not mine. I need to surrender them to Him. If He chooses to take one of them from this earth before I "think" it is time, I must willing surrender them to Him. He is their heavenly Father, their Creator and Lord. I am just a vessel He graciously chose to serve them for a number of years and I will joyfully do this until my last breath.

Don't think this is easy for me. I am human too. I am also a recovering control freak, well most of the time, because Jesus lives in me. I have to seek the Lord's forgiveness for the wording I said the other day,  "I pray my children can think of me as their 'hero'".. How selfish of me to say that. No, I want Jesus to be their hero, nothing from my own ability. Forgive me Lord for wanting to be exalted. 

When I take my last breath, I don't want my children to exalt me, but rather sing praise of joy that I will be entering the kingdom of our Savior, because He alone is their Hero!!

USCIS Approved US...

I still am in amazement! Today we received our approval from USCIS (immigration) to adopt another child from China. 

Right now the process for new applicants is taking almost 3 months. Since we are only applying for an amendment to our current approval I wasn't sure what to expect. I new it shouldn't take 3 months, but maybe 1 or 2 months max. So when it showed up today, after only 2 1/2 weeks I was very surprised and praising the Lord.

Now we will be sending it to our agency who in turn will authenticate it along with 2 other documents. That process takes about 2 weeks. After that, everything will be sent to China. I am so excited that things are moving so well. God has been so good to us. 

We have an opportunity to apply for a grant. However, the due date is November 15th. We feel as if a door has opened for this grant, and we should walk through. I originally felt as if we would not apply for grants this adoption and not really tell anyone our needs, just trust the Lord to provide as He always has. But then I have been told to apply for this grant, so I am going to take my husband's advice and apply for it and see what happens.

Anyway, just wanted to share our news. Each little step in this long wait for our little girl is always happy news in our house.