Our Special Gift

We see all of our children as special blessings from the Lord, gifts from Him alone. Even though they came from human bodies it was He who created them, each unique, beautiful, precious, amazing!

Psalm 139:13-16 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Three years ago, Asher Thomas Quan (pronounced "Ch uw en") was born on February 23 in the wee hours of the morning. I imagine his parents were shocked to see his "disability". I am not sure what their reasons were for "giving" him up, putting in front of an orphanage gate early the next morning. I can have my speculations, but it doesn't matter, as I have no idea really, and on this side of life, will likely never know. Asher will have to decide on his own if someday he wants to try and find his family. I will support him at whatever he decides.


But even in the middle of all that trauma for my precious son, there was a gift given to Him by his Creator, their was life. He created Asher in his mother's womb perfectly suitable for God and His kingdom. He might not have looked like the "perfect" child to the world, but to God and to us he IS perfect and beautiful. The Heavenly, Father gave our family Asher as a gift to love, nurture, help to be healed, pray for, disciple, teach and provide security in a family. It has been truly the most amazing gift I could have ever imagined. I knew I always wanted to adopt. 

I have heard lots of horror stories of parents who had either been ignorant to their adopted child's needs or didn't have the best skills to handle the difficulties that could come with adoption, or for whatever reason should have never adopted in the first place. But for us it has been nothing like that. I am not saying it has been all easy and fun. Parenting is hard work, period. Parenting an adopted child takes dedication, education, understanding, patience, prayer and forever commitment to pour out yourself. However, truly it has been precious and beautiful, as all things from God are.

This gift of ours, turned 3 and has grown so much. Not only has he grown 6 inches and 8 pounds, 2 sizes in clothing, tons of new words, cognitively understands anything we say, but he is also growing spiritually. I rock and sing to him every night before bed. I have been signing "Jesus Loves Me", 2 of the verses  for months now. He will NOT let me forget to sign them, that song only and he often sings them himself, no matter how tired he is. He prays and while he rarely sits still, he will try to close his eyes during prayer time and will attempt to repeat anything I say for "his prayer".

The other day he was not very nice to his sister Lenea, and hurt her badly because he didn't get something she was playing with. At first he just scowled when I scolded him and set him on my lap. He would not say he was sorry to her, which we require in younger children, even if they aren't repentive. But the next day when I was examining her injury in front of him, he sweetly said, "I sorry Nea" all on his own. It melted my heart as he knew he had hurt her and was truly sorry.

In the next year, we look forward to seeing how he will relate to his younger siblings from China. I pray that he adjusts well. He is quite the Mama and Daddy boy, and we just won't have as many free hands for him after they are home so he will be forced to share. But inside his stubbornness is one sweet and loving child. He is mostly easy going and fun to be around.

He doesn't really care for cake so for his birthday so my daughter-in-love made the best chocolate chip cookies for him. He liked those better than cake. Happy Birthday my sweet Asher Quan. I don't know what my life would have been like without you in it. Surely it would have full of less love, happiness, fun, gentleness, understanding, youth, and I am ever so thankful I don't have to find out.

I Refuse: (added onto last post)

After writing my last post this morning I had to go on an errand and on the way home I heard this song which said perfectly to what I am feeling for my own heart, my children, the church.

Here is the lyrics and here is the song if you would like to hear it.

I Refuse by Josh Wilson

Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not

This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God

So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back
And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged
To wait another day, to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I refuse
I refuse
 

When We Give To The Least of These

I LOVE this song by Audio Adrenaline. 

Is it possible to  be a Christian, a Christ follower, a Believer, a friend and disciple to Jesus, one who should have a heart after our Abba Father and still walk away from the needs of these innocent, precious children? Can we claim we don't have any money, time or ability to help them when we have Christ living in us, who gave us E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!! 

I mean every little crumb of food we eat, every little breath we take, every single night we get to sleep in a warm, safe, comfortable bed and every day we live (oh what a gift they are). And then to top it all off, He sent HIS one, only, perfect, Son, the King of all Kings to DIE for us, for me and raise from the dead so we can conquer death, sin and live for eternity with our merciful, gracious, loving Father.

I have been reading that most churches in America don't even have an orphan or adoption ministry. However, they find many ways to make their church more comfortable and fancy with coffee shops and more. (I am not saying I am against comfortable and coffee shops either, just making an analogy.)

There are millions and millions of children around the world and here in the US who need a family. If every Christian family would help just one child there would be no more orphans. I can't fathom that, but I know we have a Father God who does want to see that happen and He will make a way. There are families being awakened to that need, but they don't have a lot of support. Adoption is a long, tiring, expensive, emotional, frustrating and lonely journey. And because it IS God's heart the attacks from the enemy are strong. But the church's love, prayer, support and encouragement will help all of that to be none or in the least strong against the attacks.

Come alongside your adopting friends. Pray for them faithfully, encourage them, love their children even the ones not adopted, babysit for them, take them a meal before and after the adoption, just be a listening ear and show them Jesus' love for the "least" of these.

If you truly have examined your lives and hearts and believe you just have nothing else to give of your God-given resources then pray some more for Him to show you how. What can you give to the "least" of these? Will you minister to the families choosing to adopt? Will you go to the mission field and serve them face to face? Will you adopt yourself?

Don't be known as the "Lukewarm" church like in Revelation 3:14-22: ¹⁵ “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. ¹⁶ So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."

Here is a side note. I got a precious few photos today from a mom who just adopted her 2 year old from the same orphanage as Elliana is at. Here are a couple of her cuteness. 

Oh, these last few months are getting harder and harder. She looks like she needs to smile and be loved. How did "I" become the one that God chose to love these beautiful children? Thank you Lord of Heaven for your amazing, love for me to allow me this opportunity to love the "least" of these. 
  
Please pray our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) will come by the end of next week from China. That will keep us right on track to travel the last week of May to get her and Isaiah. Please also pray for our finances. We have received a few donations which we are ever so grateful, but we don't want to ask our friends for anymore. We know everyone has commitments and struggles like all of us. We are looking at a grant that we know 2 families personally received, but we don't think we will qualify for various reasons, but we are going to try and apply anyway. We do think we can save the majority of what we need by end of summer, but we want to travel in May not August. We are looking at refinancing our house which will give us a little bit too. However, our tax refund was only 20% what I thought it would be and then we owe state a pretty large sum of money too. I am asking that God would provide in only a miraculous way that is obviously Him.

Another Birthday!

We have a 10 year old in the house, what a wonderful age!!

 Moriah Ann, born on February 7, in the middle of the day. I am so blessed to be the mother to this amazing daughter God gave me.  Moriah Ann is a precious, gentle and compassionate girl. She can also be very tough at times, wrestling her brothers and falling down with barely whimpering.

Moriah LOVES animals and little ones. She is often the chosen playmate for littles. She is patient with them, lets them choose what they want to play, and  always has a giggle or hug to share with them.
She is often called, "Mo-Mo". When she was born, 2 year old Jacob had trouble saying her name, so he began calling her "Mo" and we also started "Mo-Mo" then too. Both nick names have stuck, even friends call her that at times. I like to call her my "Mo-me Ann" as well, just for fun.

Moriah tends to be quiet and reserved, but she can still be a lot of fun. Because she is more quiet than the rest of the  children, when she has something to say it is important to really take the time to listen. She loves to play outside with either bike and scooter riding, soccer or shooting baskets. Some might  consider her a little more tomboyish than some girls, but not totally. I signed her up for worship dance and ballet this last year, and I think she is secretly really enjoying it.

She wanted to grow her beautiful blond hair longer and she hates it when I trim it. However, she hates the tangles too! But it is past the middle of her back now. She has always had an easy time at growing her hair longer. I think it will really thicken up as she grows up more.


On our girls' 10th birthdays we have a tradition of buying a doll house kit they could make with Daddy. Because Moriah wasn't a big doll girl, even though she likes them it just wasn't her chosen play thing, I wasn't sure if she would like a doll house. So I had to ask her what she thought. She wasn't so sure at first and just told me her typical answer of, "I don't know". I told her she needed to choose as I didn't want to buy it for her if she would rather not have it, but I didn't want to not buy it if she thought some day she wished she had gotten one. It was easy with Makenna and Eliza as they always loved dolls and I can tell Lenea will want one too as she begs to play with her older sister's doll houses all the time. For Moriah, she needed to take some time to think about her answer. She said to me, "Well, I don't want to choose the wrong answer I might regret." After a week or so I asked her again and she did indeed decide she wanted one. Instead of buying her a fancier one like Makenna and Eliza got, I bought her a cute little "Beachside Bungalow", they call it. Daddy is going to start helping her build it this weekend.

For her dinner she asked for Fiesta Stack (which is a favorite family recipe like a flat, baked, layered burrito) and Peanut Butter Pie for dessert, YUMMY!! Moriah can't want for Isaiah and Elliana to come home. She was the first older sibling that Asher allowed to play with her, likely for the reasons I said above and she gave him his space, waiting for him to take the lead in the relationship. I know she will be even more practiced now with the two new toddlers coming home. I can't wait to see the relationships grow.

Happy Birthday Sweet Mo-me Ann, I am so thankful to be your Mommy. I love you the mostest sweet girl. Yes, I love YOU the mostest, I loved you first.

Makenna's 18th Birthday!!

My second oldest had her 18th birthday this last weekend February 3rd. Wow, time has gone by too quickly. I am so thankful the Lord has given me such a sweet, loving, daughter whom I am proud to call me "friend" as well. She has matured so much the last couple of years. I can trust her to manage our group of children for me and she usually still has a smile to share with me when she has been at school all day, up half the night doing homework and wakes up before the sun for prayer at school. She LOVES her school and she is on her last semester, to graduate this May. It should work out to the perfect timing, if the Lord allows it, for her to be ready to manage our home with the children we are leaving, while we head to China to bring home our 2 newest littles. We are still praying for help for her, especially someone to stay at night with them. We might have a solution but won't know just yet.

Makenna has been a little spit-fire of a personality. I don't mean that in a mean way. I mean, that while yes, she too has a stubbornness (seems most of my kids do), but even so she wants to stand up to injustice. She wants to make sure everything is just so, and she will work hard and diligently until it is, and fight if she has to make that happen on her own.

Well, the last couple years, especially this last year, she is learning to die to that flesh she has been born with. She is learning to allow Jesus to be in charge. While He requires her to work hard and fight for injustice He wants her to do it in His strength, not hers. It is a lesson, that I myself am still learning, so I am glad she is working on it as a young adult. It will save her a lot of heartache as she goes on in her life.

I am so thankful, that in spite of my inadequate parenting job over her short time in my life, that the Lord is doing great things in her heart. He is causing her to seek after Him with all she knows how to do. He is provoking her to change some ways she thinks and to worship Him freely with all that she is. God amazes me and He is so gracious to us parents. We fail, we are ignorant, we are sometimes just plain blind to what our children need from us. But, God knows exactly what they need. He will keep working and He will keep His promises.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."  Proverbs 22:6

She wants to do mission work some how, some day, some where. I have to be able to come to a place in my mind and heart that I without a doubt trust God and His wisdom and surrender her to him. Just like I did Tyler, my first child when I was a new mother. But letting adult children "go" actually seems to me even more difficult sometimes. But in reality, it should be easier. They still have God and if our heart was good with following the Lord's ways, no not perfection, but seeking Him and repenting when we failed as we raised them, then He will keep His word to us like in Proverbs 22:6. Our children, while even still maturing, have a foundation. They will only get stronger as they learn to surrender to Him.

My blessing to you for your birthday my daughter is that you would continue to seek the Lord with all your strength. And when you feel that difficulty of wanting to go your "own way" in your "own strength" that He would remind you that you can do nothing without Him. You are a mighty woman after God's own heart and I see great things being done through you for God's kingdom. I will cheer you on as you follow His lead. I love you my dear daughter. 

We gave Makenna a surprise party when her Daddy took her out to dinner. About 25 of her friends came to celebrate with her. I think she was very surprised!