He was not afraid of us on that first meeting, when he was "unfairly" taken from his foster family early that morning and brought to an office building where adoption paperwork is signed. All he likely knew was that he was going for a ride, given some cookies, and got to play on some toys with some other possible, familiar faces around him (there were a few nannies from the orphanage who had known him a little bit likely and 3 other children that he met monthly at the orphanage). When we walked into the room our hearts were racing, anxiety a little high not sure how he would respond to us, but so full of joy and excitement that we were finally meeting our son.
He was apprehensive for about 20 minutes, but allowed us to play with him, give him a sucker, sit on my lap and even let his new Daddy throw him in the air, with giggles that followed. We spent maybe 90 minutes maximum at this office, signing papers for us to take 24 hours to decide if we wanted to adopt him. They were sort of letting us "foster" him for the next 24 hours, so it was a bit different than adoption.
It would not have mattered to us, we would have signed the adoption paperwork that minute. He was our son and we would have done anything to make that happen. We knew God had brought him into our lives and we already loved him like he was ours. We followed the formality of the system, understanding the reasoning. Unfortunately, some families do end up not accepting the child they intended to adopt after that 24 hour period. But for us it was a done deal from the moment we met his face in a photo and read what little we knew about his life.
Then we were off. We went to the grocery store to buy some diapers, as they sent none and he was in a very full diaper. I had a few but it would not last 2 weeks. Also, we needed formula, again he was sent with nothing except a bag of opened cookies and some spicy chips of some weird sort that were half eaten and he wouldn't even touch (I think the nannies enjoyed them more than he did.) And he needed shoes. He was wearing very worn out girl shoes that were too small. So off to the store for our needed items and some other things and then back to the hotel. He played with his new big sister Lenea, for a little bit and let me give him a bottle, which he only drank 2 oz at a time then. Then he fell asleep in my arms and slept for 4 hours. He didn't cry really at all. He seemed undaunted by the fact that we looked, spoke and smelled nothing like he had ever witnessed before. He sort of just fit in right away. We knew it had to be God.
He slept with us that first night but sort of at a distance. I kept my hand on him the entire night, so he would know I wasn't far even if he didn't want to touch me himself. He slept pretty good, with one wake up for about an hour, fussing and whining but went back to sleep. But night #2 was much different. He woke up scared, bewildered and angry about 1 AM that night. I took him out of the bed, as Lenea and Jay were still sleeping, and tried to give him a bottle. He wouldn't take it and just kept pushing me away but then wanted me to hold him at the same time. It was obvious that things were sinking in and he wasn't sure he wanted to be there. It ended up being 4 hours of him sobbing, as a toddler can do. It wasn't like a tantrum, but more like grieving. I had tears at times myself, but then I just began singing some praise songs in his ear over and over and over and over again. I held him close and eventually he let me feed him some milk. When he finally settled down, he would not leave my side in that bed. He held onto me for dear life.
During the day, he was a typical toddler who was asserting his independence and ran around touching everything in site. I don't think he had boundaries in his life and was not used to having things he couldn't touch. He learned "No" quickly though and we began teaching him signs (the few we knew) as he couldn't talk at all. Signing helped him tremendously, it was if the light went on in his mind that he could communicate and be "heard". All he did up to that point was grunt. Nighttime however, was his way of processing his experience and the trauma of it all. He would latch onto me or Jay, usually me as we were trying to help him bond to my primarily first, and when he woke he was terrified.
He would cry or whine and hit himself, and did this a couple times a night for up to an hour each time. It was heartbreaking. His sleep was restless and unpeaceful those first few days. He did nap each day so that helped us get through that time. I ended up being by myself with him the last week, as Jay and Lenea headed back home. It was an exhausting 8 days, but God helped me through and we bonded so much. during that time. He was still terrified if I left his side, which I really couldn't and at waking up, but he was feeling more and more at ease and comfortable with me.
Upon coming home to the US, he was stirred up a bit the first week. I think jet lag and meeting new brothers and sisters and coming into another new environment (we had 3 different hotels in China) was all about that. He settled into a routine easily and even began eating a lot more. In China, he was very picky and wouldn't eat very much a time. He only weighed 22 lbs so I was concerned. Once we were home he began eating up to 6 oz bottles (remember only 2 oz in China), and he began eating foods (not everything still a bit picky but enough , in China he would eat maybe a few bites of yogurt and a few noodles but that was it). So it was a quick adjustment.
He loved his brothers and sisters right away. Some of them are more of the "in your face" type of children and he didn't appreciate that for a while. He would just hit them in the face, so they usually just learned to back off. But the ones that were quietly sitting by his side and would wait for his cue were quickly accepted into his heart. He especially loved the oldest brother and sisters, who all seemed to be mini Mamas and Daddies in his mind. We had to be careful not to confuse him, by letting him attach to them too much before he was attached to Mama and Daddy. So we controlled the things they could do for him and the amount of time they loved on him. I am so appreciative for all their love and support and understanding about that, because each of them just wanted to snatch him up and love on him like they did with all the other baby siblings that came home in the past. I know it was hard for them to keep hands off a lot of the time.
So tonight we celebrated this precious boy's life and us becoming a family to him. God has taught me so much the last year about love and how my heart could grow so full for a child that I did not birth. I truly birthed him in my heart and I could only think of him as My son. It has been a wonderful year with him in our family. I celebrate every day the Lord has given me with him.
On tonight's menu we had Fried Rice, Chicken Lettuce Wraps, Lemon Chicken and Mandarin Oranges. I thought he would like at least the rice and lemon chicken, but he would only eat the oranges and one bite of the chicken, only because he wanted to try the chopsticks. He is definitely a picky toddler. Oh well, the rest of us ate it all up, especially the Lettuce Wraps.. yummy!
I also am sharing his Adoption Video that is finally completed. If you don't want to watch the entire 13 minutes, you can skip ahead about 1/4 way through and see his Gotcha Day video footage.
Oh, I also wanted to share that we did drive down to the immigration office this morning. What a test of faith for me. We were greeted with a very grumpy security guard who was not going to allow us to print. But Jay would not take "No" for an answer and asked to talk to the Supervisor. We waited 10 minutes for him to get off the phone, while all along observing that the office was pretty quiet, with at least 2 finger print technicians just sitting there. The supervisor was almost as grumpy as the guard and it was obvious he wanted to turn us away. After Jay gave our case and explained the reasons he didn't seem empathetic but just said "I will think about it and let you know", then ushered Jay out of this office and closed the door. We sat silently in the chairs and I just prayed, still keeping faith that the Lord wanted us do complete them today and that He would take care of all of it. About 20 minutes later the supervisor came out of his office and handed our paperwork to the guard. The guard called us up and gave us the paperwork to fill out and said nothing else to us. I was silently praising God knowing he had changed the heart of the "kings" on our behalf. After filling out the paperwork we were printed and out of there in 5 minutes..!!! Praise the Lord. So keep praying that the finger prints are acceptable, if not we have trek down there again; as well that USCIS approval will come that first week of December. That is only 2 weeks away, I am so happy to be almost done with this next step as well. A little closer to our precious China sweeties.
Now, onto the video: We Love You Asher!!
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