One year ago today, we walked into the life of a precious 21 month old boy, whom we named Asher Thomas Quan (pronounced Ch' u en). We had been praying for him and falling in love with him for already 9 months. However, he didn't know anything about us yet. We had sent photos of our family and we do know he was shown them, but how much can a toddler comprehend? He was not afraid of us on that first meeting, when he was "unfairly" taken from his foster family early that morning and brought to an office building where adoption paperwork is signed. All he likely knew was that he was going for a ride, given some cookies, and got to play on some toys with some other possible, familiar faces around him (there were a few nannies from the orphanage who had known him a little bit likely and 3 other children that he met monthly at the orphanage). When we walked into the room our hearts were racing, anxiety a little high not sure how he would respond to us, but so full of joy and excitement that we were finally meeting our son. He was apprehensive for about 20 minutes, but allowed us to play with him, give him a sucker, sit on my lap and even let his new Daddy throw him in the air, with giggles that followed. We spent maybe 90 minutes maximum at this office, signing papers for us to take 24 hours to decide if we wanted to adopt him. They were sort of letting us "foster" him for the next 24 hours, so it was a bit different than adoption.
It would not have mattered to us, we would have signed the adoption paperwork that minute. He was our son and we would have done anything to make that happen. We knew God had brought him into our lives and we already loved him like he was ours. We followed the formality of the system, understanding the reasoning. Unfortunately, some families do end up not accepting the child they intended to adopt after that 24 hour period. But for us it was a done deal from the moment we met his face in a photo and read what little we knew about his life. Then we were off. We went to the grocery store to buy some diapers, as they sent none and he was in a very full diaper. I had a few but it would not last 2 weeks. Also, we needed formula, again he was sent with nothing except a bag of opened cookies and some spicy chips of some weird sort that were half eaten and he wouldn't even touch (I think the nannies enjoyed them more than he did.) And he needed shoes. He was wearing very worn out girl shoes that were too small. So off to the store for our needed items and some other things and then back to the hotel. He played with his new big sister Lenea, for a little bit and let me give him a bottle, which he only drank 2 oz at a time then. Then he fell asleep in my arms and slept for 4 hours. He didn't cry really at all. He seemed undaunted by the fact that we looked, spoke and smelled nothing like he had ever witnessed before. He sort of just fit in right away. We knew it had to be God. He slept with us that first night but sort of at a distance. I kept my hand on him the entire night, so he would know I wasn't far even if he didn't want to touch me himself. He slept pretty good, with one wake up for about an hour, fussing and whining but went back to sleep. But night #2 was much different. He woke up scared, bewildered and angry about 1 AM that night. I took him out of the bed, as Lenea and Jay were still sleeping, and tried to give him a bottle. He wouldn't take it and just kept pushing me away but then wanted me to hold him at the same time. It was obvious that things were sinking in and he wasn't sure he wanted to be there. It ended up being 4 hours of him sobbing, as a toddler can do. It wasn't like a tantrum, but more like grieving. I had tears at times myself, but then I just began singing some praise songs in his ear over and over and over and over again. I held him close and eventually he let me feed him some milk. When he finally settled down, he would not leave my side in that bed. He held onto me for dear life. During the day, he was a typical toddler who was asserting his independence and ran around touching everything in site. I don't think he had boundaries in his life and was not used to having things he couldn't touch. He learned "No" quickly though and we began teaching him signs (the few we knew) as he couldn't talk at all. Signing helped him tremendously, it was if the light went on in his mind that he could communicate and be "heard". All he did up to that point was grunt. Nighttime however, was his way of processing his experience and the trauma of it all. He would latch onto me or Jay, usually me as we were trying to help him bond to my primarily first, and when he woke he was terrified.
He would cry or whine and hit himself, and did this a couple times a night for up to an hour each time. It was heartbreaking. His sleep was restless and unpeaceful those first few days. He did nap each day so that helped us get through that time. I ended up being by myself with him the last week, as Jay and Lenea headed back home. It was an exhausting 8 days, but God helped me through and we bonded so much. during that time. He was still terrified if I left his side, which I really couldn't and at waking up, but he was feeling more and more at ease and comfortable with me. Upon coming home to the US, he was stirred up a bit the first week. I think jet lag and meeting new brothers and sisters and coming into another new environment (we had 3 different hotels in China) was all about that. He settled into a routine easily and even began eating a lot more. In China, he was very picky and wouldn't eat very much a time. He only weighed 22 lbs so I was concerned. Once we were home he began eating up to 6 oz bottles (remember only 2 oz in China), and he began eating foods (not everything still a bit picky but enough , in China he would eat maybe a few bites of yogurt and a few noodles but that was it). So it was a quick adjustment. He loved his brothers and sisters right away. Some of them are more of the "in your face" type of children and he didn't appreciate that for a while. He would just hit them in the face, so they usually just learned to back off. But the ones that were quietly sitting by his side and would wait for his cue were quickly accepted into his heart. He especially loved the oldest brother and sisters, who all seemed to be mini Mamas and Daddies in his mind. We had to be careful not to confuse him, by letting him attach to them too much before he was attached to Mama and Daddy. So we controlled the things they could do for him and the amount of time they loved on him. I am so appreciative for all their love and support and understanding about that, because each of them just wanted to snatch him up and love on him like they did with all the other baby siblings that came home in the past. I know it was hard for them to keep hands off a lot of the time. So tonight we celebrated this precious boy's life and us becoming a family to him. God has taught me so much the last year about love and how my heart could grow so full for a child that I did not birth. I truly birthed him in my heart and I could only think of him as My son. It has been a wonderful year with him in our family. I celebrate every day the Lord has given me with him. On tonight's menu we had Fried Rice, Chicken Lettuce Wraps, Lemon Chicken and Mandarin Oranges. I thought he would like at least the rice and lemon chicken, but he would only eat the oranges and one bite of the chicken, only because he wanted to try the chopsticks. He is definitely a picky toddler. Oh well, the rest of us ate it all up, especially the Lettuce Wraps.. yummy!
I also am sharing his Adoption Video that is finally completed. If you don't want to watch the entire 13 minutes, you can skip ahead about 1/4 way through and see his Gotcha Day video footage.
Oh, I also wanted to share that we did drive down to the immigration
office this morning. What a test of faith for me. We were greeted with a
very grumpy security guard who was not going to allow us to print. But
Jay would not take "No" for an answer and asked to talk to the
Supervisor. We waited 10 minutes for him to get off the phone, while all
along observing that the office was pretty quiet, with at least 2
finger print technicians just sitting there. The supervisor was almost
as grumpy as the guard and it was obvious he wanted to turn us away.
After Jay gave our case and explained the reasons he didn't seem
empathetic but just said "I will think about it and let you know", then
ushered Jay out of this office and closed the door. We sat silently in
the chairs and I just prayed, still keeping faith that the Lord wanted
us do complete them today and that He would take care of all of it.
About 20 minutes later the supervisor came out of his office and handed
our paperwork to the guard. The guard called us up and gave us the
paperwork to fill out and said nothing else to us. I was silently
praising God knowing he had changed the heart of the "kings" on our
behalf. After filling out the paperwork we were printed and out of there
in 5 minutes..!!! Praise the Lord. So keep praying that the finger
prints are acceptable, if not we have trek down there again; as well
that USCIS approval will come that first week of December. That is only 2
weeks away, I am so happy to be almost done with this next step as
well. A little closer to our precious China sweeties.
Our finger print appointment letters did come in afterall, on Saturday. Right after I posted the last time on the blog and the mail came and there they were. God did prove faithful....Praise Him, Praise Him. So the appointment they gave us was not until December 12....A little out there when our receipt date was October 31 and they are currently approving applications within about 35 days right now. But that won't happen if prints aren't in. And there is always a chance that the prints can not be acceptable too, so it really doesn't make sense for us to wait that long, when we could very well be approved before the 12th. So tomorrow we are driving an hour to our state capital to attempt a walk in finger print. I am asking for prayer for anyone who reads this before tomorrow at about 9 MST that the immigration office will have favor for us and our attempt to finger print early. And please pray that the prints will be acceptable. Makenna is able to get off school tomorrow for the holiday, and it will be harder for her to go on the 12th. They could turn us away, so please pray that they don't. I will update tomorrow what the results were, but I have faith that the Lord is going to answer our prayers. I know he is going to bring our babies home early June... Thank you for praying.
So, this week we have still haven't gotten our finger print appointment for immigration, although the mail hasn't come in today, so it could still be today. I really prayed it would be here by this week and had faith it would so we could go on Wednesday to get them done. It seems within a couple weeks of getting printed you get approved and with the holidays in the works, my plan was to move as quickly as possible. My heart has been so aching for our 2 little babies this week. I know it is God using this time to help me already to begin bonding and attaching to two toddlers I have never met. My prayers are not worthless, He is at work in all of this, even in the timing. Satan has tried to discourage me this week, but I am joyfulling going to proclaim I will NOT listen to his noise. I KNOW without a doubt that God is working through this adoption and protecting our two babies and going to make a way for us to get to them and bond with them. I will share more good news about that in a bit. We have had sickness in our home for going a month now. My husband and I even got a bad case of bronchitis that has kept us up at night for 2 weeks, but the antibiotics have already almost wiped it out. The thing is that my kids aren't totally over it yet. Even Asher got sick and has had some sleepless nights, but he is doing better the last couple. My oldest daughter had it at the start 4 or 5 weeks ago, and then last night she seems to have come down with something again. She is not the only one like that; it is either manifesting in secondary infections or we got a whole new virus going through again. Then the other morning Makenna's newish car (we just bought in June, but is is 12 years old) seems to have a transmission that died. We just replaced the ignition part on it last month and the mechanic said all looked good. But when it is spilling transmission fluid every where (which she did not know) and then doesn't start, it is not a good sign. We are getting it towed to the mechanic today and he will work on it. But we don't have the money for it until next payday in two weeks and that money was supposed to be for our December adoption fees that are due. So with these few little annoyances that are coming from Satan and his attacks it could be easy to get discouraged. But I am learning that God wants me to roll with the punches and not waiver in my walk. If hard things come my way, which they should if I am a believer in Christ, then I should expect it and still stand firm in the Lord, on the Rock. I should actually be joyful in it all, knowing God is mightily at work in my life. That is an amazing thing that the God of all nations loves me that much to make me into His masterpiece. I don't deserve it.
I have had times in my life where I would stress over difficult things. I would quiver over life's hurricanes thinking I could not survive. I would fall to my knees if my children were not doing what they should, imagining they would eventually walk a path of destruction for good. It is funny to admit today that I felt that way, because Jesus was always there. He was in the boat with me when life brought a storm. He knew that Satan was putting doubt and fear in my mind. He is always there for me to call out to, and just like he did for the disciples He will come and rebuke the storm, rebuke Satan and show His glory. Why should I fear these attacks? Why should I fear even death. Death's sting is not in actually dying, because I will end up with Christ, which sounds wonderful to me honestly. But the sting is when we don't have faith, and we don't know where we are going to go. I know where I am going and honestly I can't wait to get to my true home. I feel like a foreigner on this earth, for good reason.
As far as the car, well we don't have the money today, but hopefully we will in 2 weeks. We will keep praying for God to provide for those agency fees another way. I did sell $75 worth of stuff yesterday that we have been wanting to sell. And another sweet family gave us $100 for our adoption. Then a wonderful family at Makenna's school has a 2nd car that they are letting her borrow for now so I don't have to take her back and forth to school every day. Not only is it a nice car, but it is nicer than we could every afford. She is driving in style and getting very spoiled. God is already working out details.
So, I still have faith that those finger prints will get done in a
timely way and that immigration approval will come by December and we
will be logged into China in December. I am beginning to pray that we
can leave for China that last week of May. It seems to be an ideal time.
Makenna will just have graduated school and it will be a week before
Elliana's 3rd birthday. How I so want to celebrate her birthday with
her.
Then as far as Isaiah, I have some unexpected blessings and answers to prayers that we just received about him in the last 24 hours. I have been asking for an update through our agency for weeks and still have had nothing. I recently joined the yahoo group for his orphanage. Yesterday I decided to finally introduce myself and ask if anyone else had trouble getting an update and if anyone would be traveling soon to the orphanage and get some photos of our boy. Within an hour of posting that I heard from the owner of Fulingkids.org which is an organization that sponsor the children in his orphanage and educates the Aunties (Nannies) how to better take care of the children. It seems like a wonderful group of people.
Anyway, the lady told me she thinks she saw Isaiah in July 2011 (when he was just 11 months old) and she fell in love with him AND she had photos of him. She asked if it was him. I wasn't exactly sure as the couple we have him, did look similar but not exact. However, when she looked at the photo I had and I told her his name, she was sure it was him. She was very happy. She too had gone on a trip in April 2012 and was worried when he wasn't there because he was having his 2nd surgery. So she was able to tell me that her first trip how responsive he was to her and how much she loved on him. Then the other partner for Fuling Kids emailed me as well and said that she had been to the orphanage in June 2012 (just a few months ago) and that Isaiah is doing beautifully. She said he was VERY active, although not quite walking yet, but almost. She said he did whatever he could to get their attention and he was very cute and loveable. She also sent me photos from that trip and he is smiling!!
Isn't he precious? I am also very happy to report that I heard about the tying of the legs in the photos I saw earlier. She assured me that they ties were not on tight and she changed many diapers and the children did not have any scars or sores from them. It truly was just to hold on the diapers and my initial assessment of it was incorrect (although I have heard truth in some orphanages but not his). It seems to that Fuling Kids regularly goes to his orphanage and actually have a partnership with them that they get to primarily train and educate the Aunties on the best way to care for the children. It sounds as if he is in excellent hands as far as orphanages can be. So our daily prayers that someone will love on him is what I know we will get. Look at his smile, it is obvious he is loved.
On Wednesday, October 31st, our immigration paperwork was received at USCIS. That is called our receipt date. Now we will be waiting for our finger print notice and then we will drive about an hour to our state capital to get those done. Then the prayers are that in a couple weeks following prints we would get approved to adopt 2 Chinese orphans and be able to make them US citizens. This is typically one of the longer US side waits. After our 11 week criminal clearance wait this will feel fast. Right now they are taking about 5 weeks. The holidays may slow it down a few days and if there is a huge influx of adoptions in the coming weeks it could slow it down too, but I am praying for that first week of December to have approval. Then that document will need to be notarized with Jay's and my signature, and driven to our state capital again for the notary to be authenticated. Then we will pay about $150 for a courier to get it authenticated in Chicago at the Chinese Embassy. Then she will overnight it to our agency. where they will finally send our all dossier to China!! What a happy day that will be. The last couple days I have really been having a burden to get to our new little ones and bring them home. We pray daily for their protection and for someone, just one person even, to love on them and show God's grace. It is so hard, knowing that even the "best" orphanages are not a home, not a place to be nurtured. Yes, they might be "well" taken care of and yes, they might even be being shown love. But how can just a few nannies manage to nurture and truly love 30 or 40 babies? I have seen photos of Isaiah's orphanage, that were only a year old and all the babies are lying in beds alone. Only one of them had a nanny sitting on the crib holding the bottle. The other babies were holding their own bottles and their eyes looked so lost and just surviving. And not only that but the babies all had their legs tied together, which I assume was to hold on their diapers. But it was obvious that it was an archaic way to keep them on and many were too tight and kept the babies immobile. I don't blame the nannies as China has one of the better orphanage systems typically around the world, although I am sure not all of them are "good" to the babies. I have heard many true horrific stories as well, of abuse and neglect. How can they have hope at this sweet age when they are just run through a "boarding house", with yes, decent care givers but one that has an assembly line to take care of their basic needs? With maybe 1 hour away from their backs in a crib. Al of those babies and children need Mommies, Daddies and
siblings to dote on them and meet their longing to be truly wanted.They have already been abandoned, it is not a pretty picture or life to imagine. It is reality. Please pray for all the orphans around the entire world. There is over 145 million children without at least one parent. November is "Orphan Awareness" Month. Please make this a time to teach your children to be the advocates for the weak and helpless who can not speak for themselves. Help your friends who are adopting. Support them when they return with their children with a meal or offering to babysit the other children. Help support them financially if you feel led. Can you give up a Starbucks coffee once a week to help a family who feels led to bring home one of these precious children? There would be many more families who would adopt if they had the money to do so. Unfortunately the government is taking away the tax credit after this year for all adoptive families, besides special needs from the US only. We do have a new side bar that has a sponsorship link for Reeces Rainbow for our adoption, which is tax deductible. If you are able to help us, how blessed we all would be. However, I know there are so many needs in our world today, so I am not going to beg for your help, but more for your prayers. And mostly that you would follow God in becoming advocates and true sponsors of all needy children around the world. This IS God's heart. We in America have SO SO much, it is sickening. And if we don't get what we think we need, we complain. I admit I am guilty of this before too. God is teaching me and showing me. There are dieing children all over our world. Not just lonely, hurting children, but children dieing without Christ spiritually. Satan would like nothing more than to keep them in the dark. I believe we as Christ follows should do what HE would do and that is have the children come to Him, love them and heal them. There is also another link for Compassion. Please consider sponsoring a Compassion child. It is ONLY $38 a month, which provides education, teaching about Christ, clean water, nutrition and medical help. Our family sponsors several and we have been so blessed by the sweet little letters we have received from our children. We also pray daily for them. My children are learning how to give up Christmas gifts in order to help children who otherwise don't even have shoes to wear. My children are learning "Compassion".
The other prayer I am asking for is Isaiah. It has been a month since asking for an update on his weight, health and more photos. The one we have is almost a year old. However, our agency has not heard anything. I am having a difficult time not worrying about him, wondering why they would not send the asked information. I know they are busy and that is likely the reason. But what if he is sick? We also still have a local Chinese heart surgeon looking and translating his last surgery which was done last April. It does seem to be another open heart surgery. He had been put in the hospital with a cold and then had the surgery done. We feel for this little boy even more. He has been through so much in his 2 little years of life. Please pray for his safety and that God would move mountains to help us get to Elliana and Isaiah as quick as possible.
