Wordless Wednesday "Why A Guy Needs a Woman in His Life"

Yes, I did have permission from Jake to post these photos. At almost 13 he doesn't care, he might care 3 years from now though. LOL And he really did dress himself this way. However, I did not let him stay that way. Ok I know that wasn't really "Wordless" but for me it was.

My Sweet Babies

Three months ago we were in Hong Kong, getting some extra sleep from our very long day of travel (it was about 40 hours) and preparing to meet our two new children. I was excited and nervous at the same time. Not knowing what our lives would be like by adding two new children to the mix, ones with significant delays and medical issues and who were older than Asher was when we adopted him. But I was confident that the Lord had brought us to the journey and wanted us to be the new parents and family of these precious children.

Jay and I parted ways to save a week of travel time. It was so hard for both of us not to be at each child's "Gotcha Day". We believed that 5 days would not be detrimental to the attachment that God would be making between us and both of our new children.

The first few days were great, but hard too. Elliana would only let me hold her and do anything for her. And then Isaiah would only let Jay do the same for him. It did get better for Isaiah but we didn't push the issue for Ellie in China. 

She is still quite the Mama's girl, mostly when I have to leave the house for a couple hours. I typically take her with me places I go, shopping and such. But sometimes there are appointments or special times with other children and she does have a meltdown when I have to leave. But Jay is so great and patient with her and reminds me "You go, she will stop crying in 10 minutes and will get to see you return to her. All of that will help her believe you will always come back." It breaks my heart though, poor little thing when I leave. It is pitiful and hard not to shed a tear myself. 

Isaiah often believes when Ellie screams when I leave that he must too, but not always. He is becoming quite a Mama's boy too, which has been good. I was a little worried those first few days when he screamed when I held him and Daddy left. I kept trying to earn his trust and prove to him that I was safe, and fun (maybe not as fun as Daddy though), and would take care of him too. I think today he is believing that. I give the glory to God for answering our prayers.

Asher is doing well. He is getting so big, especially compared to the other two, 3 year olds in the house. He is head taller than Isaiah and 10 lbs heavier. ( And Isaiah is the same weight as Ellie now She has gained 5 lbs in 3 months, Isaiah maybe 1/2 lb and he is 4 inches taller than her. ) Asher's language has exploded. His vocabulary is amazing and his speech is moving right along. Asher is so full of joy and courage and vivacity. He is also very stubborn and likes things to be just "so" or he gets upset. We are working on reminding him that he is safe and it is okay for things to be different. Bringing Ellie and Isaiah into his world has rocked him quite a bit. However, I know it is for his betterment. It is not good for him to believe all the world revolves around him forever. It is good for him to learn to share, as he never had to do that before. It is good for him to learn to be gentle, again never doing that before. He is a sweet boy and thankfully we have good therapists that are teaching us ways to help him be all that God means for him to be. He needs consistency in his day, which we have a lot of the time. It is also good for him to have some days that challenge him so he can learn that not all things or days go the way we anticipate and he will still be safe. He loves to hug his little brother and sister. He is just such a big boy compared to them that we have to be right there guiding his body, so he doesn't accidentally push them over. The funny thing is that even though Ellie is pint size compared to Asher and can't move about or talk like he does it does not stop her from communicating to him she is not happy with him or even give him a swift hit. We are working on gentleness.

Elliana is one busy and strong little girl. She isn't walking on her own just yet, but we are working on getting a little walker for her to use. Right now we are borrowing one from the therapist, but it is a bit big for her. It was such a joy to see her use it for the first time. She lit up the room with her smile and excitement as she was learning to maneuver it around. She will also be getting some little orthotics to give her some stability in her ankles, which will help her use the walker better too. Her speech is slowly yet surely coming. She can only say a very few words and you would have to know her to understand what she was trying to communicate. But she is attempting. She is also still signing words. She has no issues letting us know what she wants. 

It is a blessing to see her world open up. I thank God every day for allowing us to adopt her and bring her out the darkness of the orphanage life. She might have had loving nannies take care of her, which we have no reason to doubt. However, the frustration she must have felt not being "heard", not being held often but sitting in a crib, not being able to get enough food, not having someone to call "Mama", all must have been hopeless.  God is a God of hope...I am blessed to share that hope with her and I am blessed to be a part of the hope she gives us all. She is a fighter, that is what helped her to survive. All odds were against her, but she kept on. Sometimes she is trying to tell me she wants to eat or wants her milk. Both of those words she signs well.. But while I am holding her, doing something else for another child, she will grab my face and make me look into her eyes and do her sign again. Sometimes I have to make her a wait a little longer, but I try to not make her wait long. Parenting adopted children is different than biological children. We have to earn their trust. We have to show them time and time again, often through food as that is huge on the bonding scale, that we are there for them and will meet their basic needs always! It is a process that we will always be adjusting and considering the root of the child's needs and how that will affect our relationship with them. But today when she signs her "milk" with her little grunt and forcing me to look into her sweet brown eyes I "hear" that she is begging me to take care of her, to love her like a mother should. 

Isaiah is our small, sweet, quiet but not as quiet as before, almost 3 year old. His birthday is in three days! He has opened up so much the last month. It has been a huge transformation. He was quiet, reserved, serious and whiny a lot of the time the first few weeks and even 2 months he was with us. Something has changed though. We are finally seeing that amazing personality that we could "see" in the photos we got while we were waiting to meet him. He is talking, talking and more talking. He  is bossy, telling his siblings "No" and copying things I say. For example, Ellie is standing up on the couch and I say "Sit down, Ellie" and he copies my exact words right after me. He is sleeping so much better. I think the oxygen is contributing to that too, but he doesn't wake up crying with us not able to pull him out of it for a while. He is often smiling or giggling with his siblings.

 His biggest issue is his heart. He has some days that are harder for him than others. And sickness is the biggest culprit. When he is sick it just wipes him out. He is not very active anyway, but when he doesn't feel good he just lies around and wants to be held. 

I do have an update on his heart. We sent in three different requests to top hospitals about a second opinion. We finally got all three recommendations the earlier part of last week. Two of the facilities concurred, for the most part, with our hospital here. However, the top surgeon at Stanford did not agree with their treatment plan here .He felt a different approach was needed, in fact, even stated in his letter the other would likely not work. His approach would be a lot more aggressive but likely very proactive for the future of his lungs and heart. So we very much considered his plan and were beginning to prepare our minds for travel to Palo Alto, CA, which is very close to where Jay and I grew up and lived up until our 3rd year of marriage. 

The entire time we were in contact with Isaiah's cardiologist keeping him in the loop. After we let him know we were considering this other approach he took the information to the team here.We quickly heard back from him that they still agree with doing the less evasive way first, would be best for Isaiah. If the other surgery failed we would be left with little options for helping his heart. He said that they did reevaluate if his valve needing replacing now or later and they felt now would be best, which is what all three other hospitals suggested and our team was not ready to do yet. So we are thankful that the listened to us and were patient with us as we considering other alternatives for Isaiah.

I had been feeling while we waiting for the doctor to let us know that maybe going to Stanford would not be best for now. At first, I was very much thinking that way but I kept asking God to reveal the right path and give Jay wisdom and us unity on the decision. It was then that God began reminding me He was in control and I needed to have more faith in His healing of Isaiah and not just the doctors. If we were to have Stanford perform the more aggressive option we weren't leaving as much room for God to show His hand in it all. If the less evasive surgery was to be done and still not be enough for Isaiah God will work his miracle and be shown sovereign. That same day that I was hearing God remind me of his power, we asked one the of the other hospitals to look again at Isaiah's record and look at the Stanford surgeon's recommendation for us, giving us another second opinion. (This would be Boston, the #1 heart hospital in the Nation) They still concluded that would not be what they would do. It was all coming together, the peace  that we were to say here and take our cardiologist's advice for Isaiah at this time. Jay and I were in unity on the decision, which we always wanted to have.

So in the coming weeks, still no date planned, he will be having a cardiac MRI and lung scan and  a heart catheterization for a balloon and stent procedure on that left pulmonary artery. The intent is to take off the pressure from the very enlarged and sick Right Ventricle. He will also have his valve replaced which was his original birth defect. They will closely follow him after that surgery with more caths, ballooning and stenting to help that artery become larger and work more efficiently in the coming months, years. We so appreciate your prayers for him. It is going to be a long road. He will also be looking at more valve replacements with open heart surgeries, as the valve doesn't grow with him. 

My prayer is that he will not have fears and that he will not lose his sweet spirit from all of this medical trauma that has taken and will take place in his little life. Isaiah too is a fighter. We know that the nannies that so loved him did not realize how sick he really was and we are ever so grateful that the Lord brought him home to us in the timing that He did. Isaiah would not have gotten help in China until it was maybe too late. Today, here in our family, we are able to closely monitor his health with our excellent doctors and above our Isaiah's Creator and Healer.

I will post when I have a date scheduled for his surgeries. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

A Storm

Last Saturday afternoon, our county was in the middle of a huge thunderstorm, and under a Tornado Warning. Everyone was home and we cautiously began watching the skies, following the emergency notification on our phones.

We could see the skies were not the typical thunderstorm look. Jay began teaching the kids right away about what to look for in the clouds with tornadoes. It was nearing the end of nap time, but Asher and Isaiah were still asleep. I kept watching to see how quickly the storm was approaching us from the north, debating if I should wake the boys. I got Asher first and gave him some snuggles. Then realized I didn't have much time before our skies would be black, so I also woke Isaiah and gave him his bottle.

Jay then noticed to the south of us, as it seemed there were two cells merging from the south and north, that a tornado was about to form. He called out, "Do you want to see a tornado?" Most of us came quickly out, except for poor Lenea who then began to cry in panic, wanting nothing to do with tornadoes. We did almost see a tornado form, but it subsided. However, we did learn that in that same area there was a tornado, so likely just a few minutes later. I urged everyone to head inside and downstairs.

Within in a few minutes of getting to the basement the hail began. We could hear wind whipping around, hail pounding the house and thunder around us. Lenea kept crying, she was very scared, poor thing. I remember feeling that way when I was her age, and where I grew up we didn't have storms even close to this level of noise. So we began praying out loud and I reassured her that God was in control of the storm, holding it in the palm of His hand. I reminded her that we could trust Him. 

After about 20 minutes of hail pelting the house, Jay went to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later telling us that water was in the guest bedroom window well, coming into the house and he needed to get the shop vac. (We had a small one he had just borrowed from his work. ) The kids all went to look and we soon noticed it was also coming into the girls room and our school room. The window in the guest room had it the most. 

The kids had recently been playing by that area outside, digging up the dirt. The drain pipe from the gutter also was located right there. With the combination of huge amounts of hail melting from the roof, coming into the window well and not so well packed dirt, it looked like a fish bowl in the window. Unfortunately, it was coming in fast!

Jay used the shop vac for about 10 minutes when it stop working. He decided he would need to go run to the store to buy a new one. At that time the hail had stopped, although it was still raining. Half of the children went outside and began bucketing the water out of the window and shoveling away the melting hail near it. They used buckets to catch the water from the gutter drain and dumped it else where. A couple of other children went from room to room catching the water they could with buckets and garbage cans. We had every towel in the house attempting to soak it up, that lasted about 5 minutes and only caused a  bunch of laundry. 

I kept the littles out of the way and occupied. It was quite an adventure. Everyone worked hard and diligently as a team, which made this Mama proud.

In the end, we will need a new roof, fixed fence, likely some new paint (which we were just about to paint ourselves..so glad that didn't happen yet), and some new gutters. Some of our trees might die, especially our baby plum trees.  Our van has $4500 worth of damage. Thankfully, I had Jay put his car in the garage right before the storm hit. Makenna's car has some damage, but we likely will not pay the deductible to get it fixed. We also need a new carpet pad for the guest room. We "think" we saved the carpet.

Lessons I learned from this storm:

God is bigger than anything. I recalled the days of being Lenea's age and crying with fear from thunder. It just seemed too big for my mind to grasp and it WAS bigger and stronger than me. This storm, I realized that even with a potential tornado by our house and damage being done to our house by the weather, I had no fear. My physical body was a bit under stress, but not badly. I felt peace in the storm that was abundant. It was only God and He was in control.

We prayed that our house would not get torn down by a tornado (Lenea's words). But we forgot to pray that it would not get water damage. Unfortunately, typical home owners insurance does not cover this type of basement damage due to melting hail and rain coming into the window wells. We do not live in a flood zone to did not have an extra flood policy. Once the water hits the ground, it is considered "flood". If it would have come in due to the hail breaking a window it would have been covered. So we should have prayed for no water entering our house. 

Even in the midst of the chaos, my husband and children were amazing!! I see so much growth in our family the last couple of years. Even with the sibling bickering and complaining that goes on, some times day to day, when there is a need they are a team. I have always taught my children that they should be each other's best friends. I know that truth be told, they are the longest relationship that will exist in each of their lives. Think about it, they were babies together and will maybe live 80 years.. That is 70-80 years of a potential friendship. If they don't realize that while they are growing up they will be missing out in a huge blessing that the Lord designed. He put them together in a family.

I did not worry or have anxiety when I saw the damage that was happening to our house. I know it will cost thousands of dollars to fix. Thankfully, insurance will pay the bulk of it. But it will be a hassle and a lot of work. However, I am okay with it all. If God took it all away, I need to be okay with that too. 

Thank you Lord, for the wonderful lessons you taught me.

 All of our yard looked like this, with a few spots of 12 inch mounds. It looked like snow. We saw some areas the next morning that still had ice that had not melted, so obviously got a LOT more than we did even.

 This was about the size of our biggest hail pieces found. However, there were reports of baseball size hail south of us a few miles breaking windows.

 Moriah and Toby working at soaking up the water coming in. Unfortunately, that bench under the window was filled with some of our favorite curriculum sets. As soon as we saw the water coming in I had 3 kids in there helping me pull it out as quickly as we could. Thus all the books on the table. I realize a few days after the storm that another important thing that was on the bench was a file folder that was holding adoption paperwork from Ellie and Isaiah, from China. Several documents were wet, they are drying out now in attempt to save them. 

 A lot of our plants were shredded. 

Here is the guest room window well. It would have easily filled to the top if everyone hadn't have worked hard and fast to keep it from all coming in. It looks like we should get some fish!