We have 7 more days left until we are done with school for the summer!! Makenna will go another week or more to wrap up her many loose ends for graduation. She doubled up this year to graduate early, so she is still swamped. I will be glad for her sake when she can breath.
We are working on wedding projects and graduation preparation, as well as just doing life. Life is busier than I have ever felt it to be on a regular basis. I thought it would get easier as the children got older and I had more help from them. I do have lots of help in a lot ways which is easier, but in some ways it is harder. Parenting older and adult children is a whole new way of life that we are figuring out. With the help of others, that have gone ahead of us and walked this path, I think we are making positive changes in our lives. When I was a new, young mother I truly believed that, "If I just do everything 'perfectly' for my babies and children as they grow and love them as much as I can, then everything will turn out great for them. They will have less sin in their lives, less struggles and hardships. They will want to be around me when they are married etc. And most importantly they will walk closely with God." I was naive.
While, I do still believe I must always strive to pour my life into my children, as that is my roll that God has given me, I have also learned that most of the end, the outcome, is out of my control and jurisdiction. It has been painful for me to let that go. I can do everything mostly "right" and I will still mess it up. I can walk day to day, minute to minute with the LORD, and my children are still human and will fail. Don't get my wrong, my children are amazing and it is a great feeling to watch them grow up and walk the path the LORD is leading them on. BUT, the key is that it is the LORD's path for them, not mine, not even theirs if I think about it. They can choose one path and if He doesn't want them there, He will put an obstacle in the way. I have to trust the LORD more and let them go, surrender them to Him.
I feel so blessed that after growing up with no siblings, my LORD has given me 8 (now 9 with a daughter-in-love) to fill my life. I don't deserve any of them, nor more fantastic husband. However, God knew what I needed.
In the midst of the craziness and forgetfulness I feel as a new "norm" for me (I always had the greatest memory HA, God is humbling me more)- I am still praising the LORD alone for my beautiful family and busy life. I do desire that I can keep moving along, as well as be sure to slow down at times and just snuggle, read with them, sleep in, have tickle matches, watch a funny movie just because and make a big breakfast on Saturdays. We don't do those things every day. I know that the LORD gave us each child as a gift a reward, and I need to know that I don't know how many days I will truly have here with them. I want to focus on the end of my life and what will I remember, what will they remember about me?
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
My Soon to be Graduating Sweetheart
Here are Makenna's Senior Photos.. Emily, my almost daughter-in-love, took these. I loved most of them, but here are a few of our favorites.
This last one, just for fun, is Makenna with her handsome Big Brother, Tyler. I remember when these 2 were little pips, were inseparable and had so much fun together. I am such a blessed mama.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Surgery Date Scheduled
After many prayers and advice we are finally preparing a date for Asher's palate surgery.
I was originally planning on February, as I knew he would not begin speaking until it was repaired. But our wonderful surgeon encouraged me to make sure he and we were ready. I left that office from his first visit with the surgeon back in December, thinking for sure we would do it then. However, one of the criteria for recovery is not to use the bottle. At this time, Asher is still taking the bottle with milk in it 3 times a day and a 4th if he is extra clingy or not feeling good. So, we decided to push it back to April.
As the weeks moved quickly along, and our bonding with him was going to so well, (which we truly believe the bottle is instrumental in helping), I just couldn't imagine taking it away from him in April. We did give quite a bit of effort in trying to get him to take milk from a sippy cup on our lap. It has been a chore just getting him to take water or juice in a sippy cup at all. But when it comes to milk, he absolutely refuses. We have had 2 speech therapists, a nutritionist and Occupational therapist all help us with this. We have tried 6 different types of sippy cups. He just keeps pushing it away and refusing, with a tight lip. He will take a thick shake that we make for our family breakfasts in a regular cup, but he is sitting in his high chair due to the mess of a regular cup, so it isn't the same quality bonding we get with the bottle and he only drinks maybe 2 ounces at a sitting.
I was feeling stressed about the whole situation and asking many friends for prayer. At one point I remembered our 16 hour state adoption training and our social worker and her experience with bonding. She has a lot of knowledge in this area and I trust her opinion. I decided to get a hold of her. She graciously talked to me on the phone for an hour and answered all my concerns. Her encouragement was that we were doing all the right things, and it sounded as if he was bonding well with us, and she really thought we should keep using the bottle until he has been with us at least 12 months.
The thing about the bottle is where you "take them back" to developmental stages in order for them to go through them in a healthy way and bond with you. Asher may not have had a healthy single caregiver ever give him a bottle, with snuggling, eye contact, love and attention on a regular basis. Plus, even if he did and that was good for the development he had in China, it is not him bonding with Jay and me. Our social worker said that he needs at least 12 months, or longer, to regain what he missed with us. Even though he is 2, it is not the same as a toddler walking around with a bottle attached to his mouth, or even falling asleep with one in his crib. We always, only hold him (Jay or me) and have a purpose to our feeding him this way. He truly snuggles right in and with this active toddlerhood he is in, it is one of the only times each day he "allows" us to snuggle him.
If it wasn't for this needed surgery, that is hindering his ability to speak this wouldn't be such an issue. So, we made the choice to push surgery back another 2 months, to the beginning of June. We willd give him the bottle up until surgery day and then do whatever we needed to do to get him to eat another way for recovery, which could be up to 2 weeks of no bottle. Then the plan is to give him the bottle again, if he will take it. The challenge could be that he will be quite ticked at not getting the bottle after surgery and then when it is offered again he will refuse. If this is the case we will deal it with it the best we can, but at least then we did have a solid 6 months of bottle/bonding time with him.
Thankfully, our surgeon is very kind and supportive. He doesn't think we should wait 12 months (which we don't want to either) but he is in agreement with this decision.
As far as Asher's ability to communicate, he is up to over 120 signs and he can say about 12 or so words that "we" understand. God has a purpose in all of this and knows the perfect timing.
June 4th in the early AM is what we are looking at. If you feel led to pray for the 2 week transition off the bottle or that the surgeon would even let him have it sooner if he thinks it would be wise. There could be a possible 2nd palate surgery 3-6 months later, which we won't know until after this surgery.
I was originally planning on February, as I knew he would not begin speaking until it was repaired. But our wonderful surgeon encouraged me to make sure he and we were ready. I left that office from his first visit with the surgeon back in December, thinking for sure we would do it then. However, one of the criteria for recovery is not to use the bottle. At this time, Asher is still taking the bottle with milk in it 3 times a day and a 4th if he is extra clingy or not feeling good. So, we decided to push it back to April.
As the weeks moved quickly along, and our bonding with him was going to so well, (which we truly believe the bottle is instrumental in helping), I just couldn't imagine taking it away from him in April. We did give quite a bit of effort in trying to get him to take milk from a sippy cup on our lap. It has been a chore just getting him to take water or juice in a sippy cup at all. But when it comes to milk, he absolutely refuses. We have had 2 speech therapists, a nutritionist and Occupational therapist all help us with this. We have tried 6 different types of sippy cups. He just keeps pushing it away and refusing, with a tight lip. He will take a thick shake that we make for our family breakfasts in a regular cup, but he is sitting in his high chair due to the mess of a regular cup, so it isn't the same quality bonding we get with the bottle and he only drinks maybe 2 ounces at a sitting.
I was feeling stressed about the whole situation and asking many friends for prayer. At one point I remembered our 16 hour state adoption training and our social worker and her experience with bonding. She has a lot of knowledge in this area and I trust her opinion. I decided to get a hold of her. She graciously talked to me on the phone for an hour and answered all my concerns. Her encouragement was that we were doing all the right things, and it sounded as if he was bonding well with us, and she really thought we should keep using the bottle until he has been with us at least 12 months.
The thing about the bottle is where you "take them back" to developmental stages in order for them to go through them in a healthy way and bond with you. Asher may not have had a healthy single caregiver ever give him a bottle, with snuggling, eye contact, love and attention on a regular basis. Plus, even if he did and that was good for the development he had in China, it is not him bonding with Jay and me. Our social worker said that he needs at least 12 months, or longer, to regain what he missed with us. Even though he is 2, it is not the same as a toddler walking around with a bottle attached to his mouth, or even falling asleep with one in his crib. We always, only hold him (Jay or me) and have a purpose to our feeding him this way. He truly snuggles right in and with this active toddlerhood he is in, it is one of the only times each day he "allows" us to snuggle him.
If it wasn't for this needed surgery, that is hindering his ability to speak this wouldn't be such an issue. So, we made the choice to push surgery back another 2 months, to the beginning of June. We willd give him the bottle up until surgery day and then do whatever we needed to do to get him to eat another way for recovery, which could be up to 2 weeks of no bottle. Then the plan is to give him the bottle again, if he will take it. The challenge could be that he will be quite ticked at not getting the bottle after surgery and then when it is offered again he will refuse. If this is the case we will deal it with it the best we can, but at least then we did have a solid 6 months of bottle/bonding time with him.
Thankfully, our surgeon is very kind and supportive. He doesn't think we should wait 12 months (which we don't want to either) but he is in agreement with this decision.
As far as Asher's ability to communicate, he is up to over 120 signs and he can say about 12 or so words that "we" understand. God has a purpose in all of this and knows the perfect timing.
June 4th in the early AM is what we are looking at. If you feel led to pray for the 2 week transition off the bottle or that the surgeon would even let him have it sooner if he thinks it would be wise. There could be a possible 2nd palate surgery 3-6 months later, which we won't know until after this surgery.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)